(Closed) Bride Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think it’s normal, however the same thing just happened in my Fiance family a few months back. I can tell your feelings are really hurt, and want you to know that is completely normal. Have you talked to your brother and let him know how hurt you are to not be invited? You say he is getting married, which means he still has time to change his mind. I was my future BIL would have had told us he was planning on getting married. If he had I surely would have let him know how I felt. However, we didn’t find out until 3 months after the wedding that they had gotten married. We had to watch the YouTube video of it with 10 of her friends and family there and no one to represent him. 

Post # 4
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s not normal to not be invited, but as far as the other things it is really up to the bride and groom. It is essentialy up to the couple to plan the wedding, not the mothers as it it had been.

If you are upset about this, I would be, you should talk directly to your brother.

 

Post # 5
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is not normal…but is there a lot more to this story that we don’t know? Does your brother feel estranged from your family for some reason?

Post # 7
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

In your other thread you said she chose you as a personal attendant…

Is it possible that your brother didn’t get her any addresses to send out the invites so she just sent them to the addresses she had?

It sounds (in your other thread) like you are expected to be part of the wedding, so it was probably some oversight that one side of the family’s invitations did not get out in time.

Post # 9
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with MightySapphire.

Guys aren’t always the brightest when it comes to things like that, so maybe he told his fiance he mailed invites to you already or something… I would just ask him about it if you talk every other day!

I don’t think it’s weird she didn’t ask your family to go dress-shopping with her, though. I didn’t ask my SO’s family to go with on that sort of thing.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

when is the wedding???

when my brother married i considered our role as the grooms family was to be invited as guests, offer to help but not be offended if its refused (my gift was the cake btw), attend all events invited to and be happy and supportive – i never expected to be asked to be part of the bridal party, shop for the dress etc

Post # 11
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Yellowme: Most people actually see being asked to be a personal attendant to be a great honor. They probably meant it as such.

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I didn’t ask my (then fiance’s) sisters to be in my bridal party or to do anything for the wedding at all.  I didn’t invite my in laws to participate in the wedding process, help me plan, go dress shopping, or do anything besides show up.

We are friends, we talk, we FB message each other, but we really weren’t close enough for them to be part of the wedding.  They are very close to my Darling Husband, they talk often.  It wasn’t really a big deal, they never took offense.  I was just more comfortable surrounding myself with my family and him with his,

I think you should talk to your brother about your expectation to be a bridesmaid and your concerns about your family not getting their paper invitations (although it sounds like they received verbal invitations??).  Honestly though, I don’t see anything wrong with the bride graciously asking you to be an attendant unless you two are best friends and she’s snubbing you.

Post # 14
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

wedding invites 3mths ago – again i ask when is the wedding because it might have been save the date cards

Post # 15
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Yellowme: Are you afraid to talk to your brother about this?

If you talk to him every other day, doesn’t the wedding ever come up? 

I honestly think this could all have been a huge misunderstanding and you’re making unfair assumptions.

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