(Closed) Bride freaking out!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It will change.  There are a lot of emotions going on with weddings.

Post # 4
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

A week and a half out and totally with you. Curious to hear Bees weigh in.

Post # 5
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@AngelicBride:  This reminds me of the episode on “Friends” When Monica realizes that by marrying Chandler, she will never get that “first kiss” feeling again.  It’s a sweet sorrow, you know?  But in the end you have a person you can grow with and feel new and different things in other ways.

 

I think it’s just because of the hype, but you’ll be fine!

Post # 6
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@AngelicBride:  First of all…Im getting married same day as you so congrats!!! I feel exactly the same way as you. I have been with my fiance for seven years and cannot picture myself with anyone else, but sometimes i want to feel the thrill of the first time of things…but there are a lot of first times still to come. Hang in there, I am sure it will pass. To be perfectly honest I am kind of ready to get this whole wedding thing over with and go back to normal life and feeling normal again. I am sure you will be fine and if you say that you cannot picture yourself with anyone else than your are probably right. We are human beings and its perfectly normal to feel that way.

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just went through this; got married about 3 weeks ago. I would say what you’re feeling is normal.  No matter what you have or how good it is, it’s always a little melancholy to think it’s the last one of those “things” you will ever have. A lover or a partner is no different than a car in that regard, and while we don’t ever plan to buy a car, keep it forever, and never look at another car again, no one would blame us if we did.  There’s something very “final” about the wedding, and it’s pretty hard to get through one without feeling at least some of that “what if” sensation.

Plus, new love is intoxicating– not using that word dramatically, either, as there’ve been studies on the human brain showing that the part of your brain that is very active when you’re in a new relationship and thinking of your lover is the same part of your brain that is active when you’re high on certain drugs.  It’s impossible to keep up that pace and intensity for very long; it wears off in most folks in about a year, then life quiets down and becomes routine. Which isn’t a bad thing. But if the thought of someone else (either an actual person you know, a celebrity, or a generic fantasy man) makes you tingle the way your fiance used to, and you miss that tingle, it’s totally normal.  It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship; it just means that you’ve traded the passionate crazy love for something more mellow, rounded and sustainable.

You’re also under more stress than you know right now, and a few days after your wedding you’ll be surprised at just how stressed you were at this time. Stress does weird things to your body, your mind and your emotions. You may also be sleeping less or not sleeping as deeply, and you’re probably off of your daily routine. Your body is confused and everything else is too.  And part of you is probably already feeling the post-wedding blues; inside, you know that all of your hard work and planning is about to come together and you won’t have anything to “do” in your free time soon!

My advice: just ride it out. Over the next few days you will probably feel frustrated, annoyed with the whole concept of weddings, afraid of 1000 things going wrong, overwhelmed, irritable, sad, you name it.  Make sure you plan some quiet time before the wedding with your fiance, maybe a nice dinner out, and ban all talk of the wedding during that time. Maybe even go for a facial and a pedicure, get some relaxation in.  You’re going through very normal emotions.

Oh and as much as I hate to say it, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Just try to find as much “me” time and as much “couples” time as you can over the next few days!
 

Post # 10
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@AngelicBride:  Date twins! I’m feeling less than excited too, I’m mostly relieved that the wedding will be over soon. I think it’s just a mix of stress and frustration with wedding plans, and disappointment with a lot of people’s behavior. I know that day will be happy and fun but I’m so exhausted right now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry lol

My Fiance is the one thing I’m sure of and it sounds like you have a great guy too. I think finding someone who truely loves you and is there for you is rare – once in a lifetime rare. I think you’re feeling the natural “cold feet”, which honestly is good in my opinion, it means you take this commitment really seriously and thinking through all of its implications. Sometimes I think I’ll be sad to not have any more “firsts” but then I remember how much dating sucks, and how much I really love my Fiance. Plus, just think about the next year, all of the “firsts” as husband and wife, or if you want to start a family : )

fishbone: thank you for the great advice!

Post # 11
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Mine is coming up, none of these emotions (yet) but PPs have given some awesome insight… thanks for posting!

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