(Closed) Bride & Groom or Guests have to travel: Need Venue advice!

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015 - Gibsons (Chicago - Gold Coast)

I’m in Chicago and only 2 of the 54 people on my side of the invite list are in Chicago. If I had it in Michigan (where I’m from) about 20 of those people wouldn’t have to travel, but the other 32 still have to. On my fiance’s side most people are local and have no travel required. Keeping it in Chicago was easier, since my friends and family can mostly afford the flights/drive/train and hotels, and it’s way easier for me to plan something where I live. So I gave them a heads up and they are all (52 folks) coming to me for the wedding. Make the best decision for you and talk it out with the people who HAVE to be there (for me this was parents, siblings and my 2 groups of best girlfriends). If they are ok with it, then hopefully they others can find a way, or at least be understanding.

Post # 3
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We didn’t have a choice. His family lives on the east coast, my father lives in Florida, we live in Las Vegas so either way they would have to travel.you could ask your parents or other family members how the rest of the family would feel. Traveling to weddings is very common. It has been easier to plan it here and his family is using it as an excuse to come to Vegas for a few days. 

Post # 4
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
seejanebee:  

We also thought it would help wean down our guest list to the people who we really wanted to be there as some people probably won’t fly across the country.

In reality, it will wean your guest list to the people who can afford to attend.

Post # 7
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
seejanebee: I’m all for making things as comfortable for the guests as possible so we are going with what is easiest for the majority – we are travelling to them. When we sat down to discuss a rough guestlist, we realised that besides FI’s parents, brother, brother’s girlfriend and my mum, sisters and Maid/Matron of Honor (as well as us of course), 90% of the other people on the guestlist live in the same city about 6 hours’ drive away. We did consider the fact that it might keep the number down but also thought of what
View original reply
julies1949: said. We also thought about our immediate families and MOH/BM being the most important people to us and realistically if we are going to make it easy on anyone, it should be them but after discussing it with them all we all decided having it in the city was a better idea. Fiance, myself and one of my sisters all work for the same company. We’re lucky in the sense that our bosses are really flexible and will give us the time off with no problem. My mum doesn’t work and his parents work flexible hours. My Maid/Matron of Honor is always looking for any good reason to take leave and his brother will more than likely be in between jobs at that time of the year with his girlfriend also not being locked into a job other than her own part-time business around then. That just leaves one of my sisters who’s boss is a bit funny with leave that the employees are more than entitled to. Fiance and I suggested she take unpaid leave (her boss would love that!!) and we will just reimburse her for the wages she’d be losing. That’s 10 people out of I can’t even remember how many that will have to be the only ones travelling. I’m a firm believer in utilitarianism so this is the option I’m most comfortable with.

Post # 8
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

we planned a wedding from 3.5 hours away due to having it back where I grew up. my parents were great in helping out, for example visiting venues for us and narrowing down our list so we could just check the best 2 or 3 when we were around for christmas. we usually visit 3 times a year and they visit us once or twice so we timed our visits for the month-before tastings and similar. i was a pretty laid-back bride though so was happy for my mum to book the florist etc. and was lucky she was happy to do those bits for me. we did a lot just via internet too, like chair covers and a few bits were via friends which made it easier. as long as you have someone nearby who is willing to help, you should be fine.

Post # 9
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015 - Gibsons (Chicago - Gold Coast)

View original reply
julies1949:  true! Weaning the guest list was also part of my strategy. I really want a small wedding and having it in my hometown would open it up for too many “parent adds” and uninvited, word-of-mouth drop-in guestss.

Post # 10
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
seejanebee:  We made our guests fly to us BUT we also worked it out and realized that no matter where we had it a lot of people would travel.  Having had several friends who got married back home and planned weddings from away they advised us against it.  They said it was a total pain in the ass to do.

Post # 11
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Other than my mom (she is 2 hours away) my entire family is traveling to us for the wedding from different states.  My Fiance family is all local.  

We considered doing a destination wedding but quickly realized we knew my family would travel to attend but his cannot really afford to.  We decided to have it here.  I let my family know as soon as we set the date (a year ahead) so they could also start planning. 

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We live in Florida but are getting married in Minnesota since we’re both from there and some of our family is there. All your vendors will want to meet with you which is a little frustrating being far away, but mine have all worked with me over email and phone calls/skype until I’m able to travel back.

Post # 13
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Cherry Orchard

We live in Chicago, Fiance family lives in Michigan and Wisconsin, and my family is in West Virginia. Either way, someone was going to travel. For my family, it was going to be an 8 hour road trip or flight to Chicago, and we’ve decided to just flip that trip north and have it in Michigan where the oldest guests live.

Post # 14
Member
5974 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it really depends on who you want there. As Julie pointed out, just because someone is your best friend doesn’t mean they’ll be able to fly across the country.

We moved to a different state after college and decided to have our wedding in our home state because we wanted our guests to be able to easily attend (older grandparents and cash strapped friends specifically).

What do you feel you are missing out on by having it in MD? It wasn’t super easy planning from a different state but I didn’t really feel like I was missing out on stuff.

One thing I just realized is that we were able to drive to our wedding and therefore bring our DIY stuff with us and our presents back. I guess that would be more difficult for you given the distance!

Post # 15
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I live in Cali, but had it in my hometown in NC. I still DIY a lot of my stuff, though. I think I made 3 trips back to NC in our 7 month engagement for planning, a shower, etc. My mom looked up different vendors for things, and we had tastings and such when we went back, and took some DIY stuff back with us everytime we flew. It can definitely be done if you have a good support system back there to help. I’m so grateful for how much time and energy my mom was able to put in.

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