Post # 1
Okay, help me out here.
I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding that is four months from now. The bride keeps changing her mind about the dresses, and we have yet to order anything.
I’m only having one Maid/Matron of Honor and no maids for my wedding, so I have no idea how long it takes bridesmaid dresses to come in! Is it even possible for us to have them ordered and altered for EIGHT girls in the next four months? It seems she’s really cutting it close, and I want her to make a decision soon, but I don’t want to be pushy.
What should I do? Keep in mind, this is my FI’s brother and his fiance’s wedding. We didn’t get off to the best start, but are trying to mend the relationship for the sake of the family. I have to tread lightly here.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@BeeandBeeBride27: If you’re not the bride I wouldn’t worry about it, and definitely don’t mention it if you two have a strained relationship.
I don’t think 4 months is enough time, but it varies by the brand. Maybe she’s thinking you all will buy from a department store? Who knows!
How did she buy her own dress? LOL
Post # 4
nah you’re fine. i have 6 girls, 5 of which have ordered their dresses, and they were all quoted between 7-8 weeks for them to come in, and they will need some light alterations. i would say once you get to about 10 weeks before the wedding, you should panic.
as OP said, don’t say anything to her. worst case scenario, she will have to let you all go out and buy your own dresses at macy’s, nordstrom, etc. in the color scheme and call it a day.
Post # 5
@BeeandBeeBride27: Four months isn’t enough time if you’re ordering, but it’s not your problem. If she wants to wait until the last minute and force everyone to purchase dresses off the rack, then that’s what you’ll have to go along with. Pushing her to choose a dress right now is just going to break an already strained relationship.
Post # 6
@mchitt329: I know, it’s just as a fellow bride (and type-A planner) it just kills me to see her procrastinate. Plus, I’m assuming if we get too close there will be some sort of rush fee.
But I won’t say anything.
She got her dress a few weeks ago, actually, because I told her dresses can take like 6 months to come in. She didn’t know. I sent her links to some sample sales bc it would be tough to get a wedding dress in that timeframe. Luckily, she did find a sample that fits her perfectly, and it’s beautiful 🙂
Post # 7
@BeeandBeeBride27: Typically Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses take 3-4 months to come from most designers, or at least that’s what I was told at basically every bridal salon I went to when I was shopping around. I think with the wedding in four months, even if you ordered them now, you would have to pay for a rush order at most places, so that you would all have enough time for alterations. Is there anyone else in the bridal party that you are close to and would be in a better position to speak to her about this (and would be less worried about having to tread lightly)? You definitely don’t want to stress her out, and most likely it’s something that isn’t a priority for her right now because she’s so busy, but four months is going to go by quickly and you girls will need your dresses for the day-of.
Post # 8
@BeeandBeeBride27: Not your wedding, not your problem. Maybe she’ll have you guys buy them off the rack
Post # 9
By The Way… my BM’s dresses were ordered from David’s. They all came in 2-3 weeks
Post # 10
@peonies2: That’s what I thought. We are cutting it really close. I’m very close with FI’s sister – another bridesmaid – but she has a strained relationship with the bride as well. I’ve discussed it with her, and she agrees there’s nothing we can do.
Suppose I’ll just have to wait it out, and then rush to buy whatever she decides! Thanks bees.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
It depends on where she wants the dresses to come from (she should give you guys a good idea at what she’s looking at so you’re not blind leading the blind). I ordered my dress last June, it arrived in October. The BMs ordered in December (DB) and they arrived a few weeks later. We ordered the Flower Girl dress in March (I think), and I had to pay a rush fee (AA). The wedding is in 15 days.
If she’s having you guys buy off the rack, she needs to keep in mind that not all the dresses will come in the same color/sizes you all need. I would be frustrated with her too.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I actually would say something to her if she had no idea that wedding dresses take so long. But I would do it as offering to help, not just letting her know you think she is behind. Maybe something like “Hey Future Sister-In-Law, I was just thinking about your wedding and am really excited to know your thoughts on bridesmaid dresses. I’m sure you know that many salons require you to order 12 weeks ahead of time, so if you are planning to go that route, I would love to go out looking with you soon! Of course, if we are going to buy from a department store, etc., we still have plenty of time. Let me know if you want any help looking for whatever dresses will go with your vision for the bridal party!”
Post # 13
@BeeandBeeBride27: While it technically isn’t your problem, I can see how it can cause you to worry a bit. When I took one of my BMs to order her dress from David’s Bridal, the lady told me their system wouldn’t let you order a dress less than 12 weeks before the wedding date. Now whether that is true or not it still kinda freaked me out when I was trying to get 2 BMs to go order theirs and they were taking their time. Luckily, all the dresses came in within about 3 weeks each time even though they quoted us 8 weeks. I ordered my daughter’s JBM dress from a different place here (Bridal Warehouse) and it took about 3 months to come in.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t worry about it at this point. I am the Maid/Matron of Honor for a wedding in 2 weeks and we didn’t pick out dresses and order them (from Davids) until Feburary. They say it takes 10-12 weeks but the dresses were all in within a month. If she drags her feet and doesn’t pick, then the option of going to department stores is always there.
Post # 15
@MeiFrancis: +1 That’s such a good way of phrasing it – nice, but not pushy.
It seems like she’s not aware of the time frame, and I know I’d be pretty annoyed if I missed the ordering window on my bridesmaid dresses, and they all knew and no one said a word.
Post # 16
@MeiFrancis: Beautifully put! I might steal this and memorize it, should it get to the point where we REALLY need to order and she hasn’t done anything.