(Closed) Bride I barely know asks me to become bridesmaid and host her shower.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I completely agree…this is weird! Who asks someone they barely know to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and asks them to host a party?! I would just tell her that you can’t host the shower because it’s a huge responsibility and you have a lot going on right now…make something up if you have to. I would also tell her that you’ll still do your Bridesmaid or Best Man duties, like attending showers, etc, but that hosting one on your home is a bit more than you can handle right now. Good Luck! 

Post # 4
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Oh yea that’s weird. I feel like its very strange to ask someone to be a bridesmaid that you barely know, with that being said.. she did ask and you did accept. Since she asked you so last minute maybe you were a replacement? Honestly if you’re not comfortable with hosting at your house just say so! I don’t like having strangers in my house either!

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you should just say you’re not comfortable hosting a shower given that you don’t know the people that would be invited. Say you’re more than happy to help the Maid/Matron of Honor host a shower and help with decorating and all the other duties you were expecting to do as a bridesmaid but this is either too uncomfortable or too expensive for you.

Feel free to play the money card – it sounds as though you were a last minute choice as bridesmaid, so I’m sure you could say that you haven’t budgeted to host a bridal shower within the next few months (and you’ve already paid for a dress with barely any notice), so I’m sure you could get away with it.

Post # 6
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn

@Maljvinka:  Definitely weird. I would tell her that you don’t feel comfortable having the shower at your place and ask if the maid of honor can host it.

Post # 8
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Maljvinka:  well that’s too bad for her, your house isn’t a hotel to be rented out. A shower can look lovely no matter where it’s hosted, who cares if your house is nicer? She’ll get over it.

Post # 9
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Maljvinka:  If that’s the case, then I think make up some excuse to not host the shower and walk away from this situation. It sounds as though she just wants you as a bridesmaid because she thinks she can use you to host a shower or help with decorating.

If she’s the kind of person to ask you to be a bridesmaid just to host a shower, then there’s a good chance she’ll demote you (and possibly uninvite you from the wedding) if you won’t host her bridal shower. You need to be prepared to deal with the worst case scenario here – it doesn’t sound as though you’re that close to her, but if you work together, it could be uncomfortable.

Post # 10
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That all sounds pretty weird. You only barely know her through work, and then suddenly she wants you to host a party for her? Is it possible that she’s intending to use you because she knows you have a nice house and money?

Honestly, I find it a little bit rude to ask someone you barely know, and who barely even knows you, to host a party for you out of the blue. I would think it’d be more appropriate for the MoH, someone who actually knows the bride, to host the shower. I can’t imagine it would be very fun for you to have a bunch of strangers in your house, and to boot you’re not even close to the bride.

@MrsRichard:  +1 This is exactly right. I think based on the circumstances, you can still call her back and say that you’re sorry, but it turns out that isn’t going to work for you. I still think the money excuse would work (people with nice houses and businesses still have bills to pay and a budget to follow– you could just say that you don’t have enough time to budget for a party), but you don’t need an excuse. Feel free to say no on the basis that you’re not comfortable holding the party.

Post # 11
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@firefliesinthesky:  doesn’t it sound like this girl had a bridesmaid drop out and thought oh I know Maljavinka has money and a nice house ill just ask her 

Post # 12
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Maljvinka:  Wow! Uh awkward…I agree with everyone. Make something up.

Post # 13
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Maljvinka:  That’s just plain weird…I would make something up, pretending that I can’t host her shower.

Doesn’t she have a Maid/Matron of Honor ?

Good luck !

Post # 14
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m confused…did you accept or did you leave it some other way? It’s weird of her to ask but if you accepted it may be too late to change things up. 

Post # 16
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did you already tell the bride that the shower could be at your house? If it’s been over two weeks, I’m assuming you gave her an answer. That might make it a little trickier to get out of. I would tell her that you don’t feel comfortable hosting the shower at your home. She might kick you out of the bridal party, but besides the cost of the dress it doesn’t sound like you’ll be losing much.

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