(Closed) Bride I barely know asks me to become bridesmaid and host her shower.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
2948 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

View original reply
@Maljvinka:  I think you are being taking advantage of. You need to be firm and tell her your uncomfortable having it at your place. It you can offer her some other places to have it it might be helpful eg- resturant, country club, cafe  Goodluck 

Post # 20
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

this sounds like she is using you! wow! can you blame your husband lol? say you talked with him about hosting the shower after you spoke with her and he said he isnt comfortable with it? or maybe he has made other plans to have guys day the same day you didnt know about when/if you said yes? maybe tell her youre having your house fumigated that weekend haha. i would def get out of it no matter what. its very shady sounding. good luck!


Post # 21
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I hate to lie but to keep it plesant with her I might. Say your husband surprised you with getting the kitchen redone. Or that your pipes burst and it’s going to take a long time to fix! Or that someone is sick and coming to stay with you. Honestly I agree with others here who believe someone must have dropped out and she’s using you to fill in. Don’t do it. Throwing a shower is a big deal and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it for someone I hardly know. Bridal showers in the US are NOT just for the maids… the bride invites family, friends… sometimes every woman invited to the wedding is invited to the shower. RUN!

Post # 22
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think this is very uncomfortable and it sounds like you’re being used!

I’m sorry you already agreed to the dress and paid for it, I would have tried to make an excuse at that stage (When is your wedding? Oh drat I am already attending a wedding that day, etc).

It sounds like she doesn’t care about you but is using you and I think you should limit your involvement without being too rude… make up some reason why it can’t be at your house. Even “I mentioned it to my husband and he would prefer we did not host a party here.”

Stand up for yourself and say no!

Post # 23
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Country Club

It’s weird she asked you since you’re really not that close, and she’s being opportunistic and taking advantage of you. Just because you accepted to be a bridesmaid, doesn’t mean you have to agree with all of her request, such as USING your home.

Post # 24
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

…maybe she doesn’t have friends?

I mean…if I were having a traditional wedding I’d have no bridesmaids, either :/ 

But then again if she doesn’t have friends who is she inviting to her shower?

Post # 25
59 posts
Worker bee

@Maljvinka:  This seems pretty odd to me. I would try and get out of it. You should not have to feel uncomfortable for someone that you barely know. I know one of my older friends had a sweet 16 for her daughter and somebody at the party actually stole electronics and jewelry from her house! Since its not a money issue you could try and get out of it by saying that you need to do renovations, or you have termites or something and you need a few weeks for an exterminator to fix the problem, something along those lines. But be sure to give the bride enough time to make plans to have her shower somewhere else!

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