(Closed) Bride is a liar…and I'm kicked out of the wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

She sounds like has some issues going on, and I wouldn’t worry about it. You don’t seem like you were too thrilled when she asked you be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in the first place, and you aren’t being singled out since two other BMs also were booted out. Just ignore her, even if you feel bad.

Post # 4
4420 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@vintagebride26:  I understand why you feel bad, but someone who tells lies (especially ones that could hurt others) has to face the consequences. It’s never wrong to feel the way you do, but the feelings will fade and you can always know that you did the right thing.

As for going forward, stay polite and civil. You’ll probably not remain friends (which seems to be fine with you), but there’s no reason you cannot be civil classmates.  Just try to avoid personal conversations or one-on-one time for awhile until she cools down.

Post # 5
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ignore her…she’s clearly crazy and you are better without her in your life. It’s natural to feel bad about “hurting” someone else but she really brought it all on herself. As for you feeling rejected – you can’t have her out of your life and still like you. I’d just try to ignore her moving forward and act civil when you do need to interact but nothing more.

Post # 6
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You did the right thing. 

I used to work with a girl who’s Fiance told fantastic lies.  I sort of miss hearing them to be the truth because they were that good. 

Post # 7
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I had a best friend for years. I loved her, but she lied constantly. At first she lied about little things and I simply ignored it, but about 2 years ago she started telling dangerous, outrageous lies like your friend. After months of this, I could not take it anymore, called her out and ended our friendship. She was so devastated and hurt that she ended up seeking intense therapy, leaving her Fiance and pretty much entirelyrevamping her life. We didn’t talk for a year…then she reached out. I now count her as one of my most trusted friend. I felt so guilty but she tells me that by losing me, she was inspired to finally change and confront her demons. You did the right thing! 

Post # 8
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would be relieved if I were you. This girl has some serious problems, and it worries me that a person like this is even in the medical field!

I would not worry about it.


Post # 9
6226 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I wouldn’t feel bad about hurting her feelings. If she lies that much, she has to know that it’s going to come back to hurt her eventually.

ETA- and congrats for not being in the wedding anymore!

Post # 10
237 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you did the wrong thing but you probably shouldn’t have tried to remain “anonymous” when she clearly knew it was you. It sounds like you should have openly confronted her way earlier and not accepted to be in her wedding. I completely understand how that happens; it’s hard to confront someone (hard for me). Usually, though, it’s the right thing and then you don’t have to feel guilty later.

Side note, this is why I hate those “will you be my bridesmaid?” cards. They’re way too proposal-y and in keeping with this, add proposal-like pressure to say “yes.”

Post # 11
412 posts
Helper bee

considering she kicked three of you out, i don’t think she knows it’s you. i would stay civil, but distance yourself. if she ever confronts you, just say you noticed she was acting off and were giving her space, and play dumb on the teacher approaching her thing. with this type of personality i’d potentially be concerned about retaliation (lies that portray you in a negative light). hopefully you don’t need to work with her directly or for too much longer into the future.

sidenote: yes you did the right thing. it’s hard to feel rejected even if it’s by someone you don’t want in your life, but give it a week or two and you’ll be over it and so glad she’s no longer a fixture in your life.

Post # 12
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You did very well. Now walk away.. don’t even think or look back.  When you see her, smile and say hello then walk away.. people like that are poison to those around them.

Post # 13
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it would have been better to be direct. instead of ignoring all the lies and then going directly to the professor, it might have been a good idea to say something a bit earlier

i know confrontation is difficult, but even if you werent sure how to do it and werent excited about being a bridesmaid – she clearly thought of you as a friend and probably felt quite betrayed. especialliy since it was obvious it was you.

Things are going to be awkward now, its pretty much unavoidable. I do think you did the right thing by talking to the professor but i think the whole thing could have been handled better

Post # 14
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry you’re feeling bad – I think it will pass though! She sounds whacked out and you probably dodged a bullet there. What a bitch for not even telling you in person you were kicked out! Good riddance to her!

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