(Closed) Bride is mad at me

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
916 posts
Busy bee

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taylorg123 :  wow, this is nuts. I’m a girly girl and wouldn’t wear damn 6in heels and how selfish of her to risk your comfort and health. I’d step out and go to her wedding as a guest with the flattest shoes you can find.

Post # 47
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

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MrsSapphire :  

This is excellent advice. Very well said :). 


Post # 48
7838 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Demanding 6″ heels in a field is inconsiderate and ridiculous to all the bridesmaids.

Demanding 6″ heels in a field (or anywhere) on a friend with known injuries is rude AF.

This bride has lost her mind. Just let her know you are happy to step down. 

Post # 49
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are not being unreasonable. I know lots of women who don’t/can’t wear heels, and unless they have Marilyn Manson style platforms than 6 inches is wayyyy too high for most! Also she should be considering your health and well-being. It’s not like you just don’t feel like wearing them.

Side note: I tried to get heels that high for an occasion once and the only place I could find them was an ‘adult’ shop… 😉

Post # 50
526 posts
Busy bee

How inconsiderate of YOU to go horseback riding before your friend’s wedding knowing that there’s a possibility you might have to wear heels. And they’re only 6 inches. Surely you can compromise for one day!

No but in all seriousness, this is completely inconsiderate of your friend. Does her cousin know how serious your condition is? Either way, wear what you feel comfortable, perhaps giving her a heads up. And if she makes a big fuss about it, I think you’re better off bowing out of this wedding and perhaps friendship. If she’s a true friend, she should understand.

Post # 51
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

OMG!! That’s wicked rude of both her cousin and the bride! I would have told them both to go smell a fart and drop her as a friend. Anyone who is that inconsiderate of your pain doesn’t deserve you as their friend! Some people just don’t understand until something happens to THEM.

Post # 52
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

This is insanity. I agree with the PPs who said to tell her to take her heels and shove it. That’s the whole point of long dresses – you can’t see the darn shoes! 


No. There’s no way for you to wear those shoes and bein her wedding. I have some pretty severe back/hip problems and am upset I can’t wear some 4 inch heels I’d bought years ago. Particularly because the wedding is outside. I’ve told my bridal party to wear whatever presentable shoes they want / are comfortable in. 

Post # 53
6025 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

You’re not being inconsiderate.  When the Maid/Matron of Honor texted you,  I would have written back, “let ‘Amy’^bride^ know that I would appreciate if she contacted me directly through text or phone about this issue whenever she gets some time. Thanks”. That’s it. It was incredibly immature of her to avoid the subject with you and instead have someone else talk to you.  


And no, wearing flats is perfectly OK when you have pain. For our wedding I wore flats. I had a horrible ankle fracture a few years back and 3 surgeries haven’t helped me with the pain, swelling and horrible stabbing pains. Heels are a big nono for me and i miss wearing them so much so I understand where you’re coming from.


Hopefully your friend will smarten up. If she doesn’t,  I’d wear flats anyway or tell her you can’t fulfil her 6inch vision and will have to step down (literally hehe).  GL.


Post # 54
140 posts
Blushing bee

What a horrible friend to not understand that you have an injury like that. I think i would decline being in the wedding. I wouldn’t give one cent to some person who could care less if you were in pain simply so her big day can be exactly as she planned.

Post # 55
13921 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The bride is out of line. Shoes are such a personal choice, for many more reasons than style. Etiquette-wise , she gets input on the dress and the dress only. Other than perhaps suggesting a color likely to be in most women’s wardrobes, she can’t properly dictate shoes, whether six inch heels or flats. 

I’d stop texting or emailing and get her on the phone. Tell her that unfortunately you can’t wear the shoe. If if it’s obligatory, you’ll have to bow out. That puts the ball back in her court. Either she will have to concede or she’ll be forced to ask you to step down.

Post # 56
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

Is there gonna be a stripper pole at the end of the aisle? Cause that is legit the only context where I have seen 6 inch heels.

I’m with everybody else. Don’t ask permission. You’ve made your position clear. Buy some shoes you’ll be comfortable in. If she throws a fit, so be it. She’s being completely unreasonable – and a coward – passing you off to her Maid/Matron of Honor and demanding that you put yourself in harm’s way. She’s got a case of the brats; hopefully she’ll see reason once all is said and done. If not, I’d tell her to take a 6 inch wlk off a 5 inch pier.

Post # 57
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

No you are not being unreasonable. Based off her behavior, I’d bow out of this wedding and “friendship”. Tell her in person you can’t physically wear those shoes and will find ones you can walk in in the same color. She will either have to be ok with it or you will have to bow out. 

I wore these crazy heels once…the damn things were 5 or 5 1/2 inches with a 2 inch platform and I nearly ate it numerous times walking on pavement. I don’t know how anyone can walk in heels that high! 

Post # 58
106 posts
Blushing bee

I think at this point it’s clear how little she cares about your well being and I would decline being a bridesmaid at this point. Seriously! It’s for legit health issues. Even without the injury she wants you to walk in grass in heals! That’s just begging for an accident to Happen

Post # 59
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015


I can’t believe she’s expecting ANYONE to stand through her ceremony in six inch heels, much less in a freaking field. And then knowing about your injury she’s telling you to practice?! No. She is incredibly rude and selfish. 

People have given you good scripts for nicely reminding her of your injury and attempting to stay in the wedding party. Personally- I’d say “You know damn well my injury keeps me from being able to walk in heels and your insistence that I wear them anyway is f***ing rude. F*** off and stay the f*** out of my wedding while you’re at it.”

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