(Closed) Bride issues

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

zcuriousbuzzybee:  no, you’re not crazy.  Being a bridesmaid is not a court summons to be the brides lackey until the wedding date.  Attending a wedding show is NOT a ‘must see’ event.  You are allowed to have a life too.

Keep the plans you had, let her know you won’t be able to attend and be done with it.

Post # 3
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I went to one bridal show when I first got engaged with two of my bridesmaids and realized what a waste of time it was for them to be there as well as  myself. The shows are really only good for when you are still looking for specific vendors for things and it’s the bride and grooms job to plan the wedding not the bridesmaids. They should go as a couple or her and her mom (or a trusted friend) should attend not the entire bridal party. In your case I wouldn’t go and I don’t see why the bride wants to go either. If I were you I would ask if there is a specific reason she wants to go (does she still need a specific vendor or last min detail?) and then go from there. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  BWLE.
Post # 4
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think you’re crazy. I attended a show with a friend last Fall when she asked me to go with her (I was one of her personal attendents). She got married this past May and was still looking for some vendors at the time, so I thought the timing was right for her.

My city has most of the bridal shows in January, and I got engaged in February. There is  one coming up the first weekend in September, and the same one I went to last Fall with my friend – which is the Sunday of the same week of my wedding. I don’t feel the need to go to either, since I already have all of my vendors.

I don’t get why she wants all of you guys with, and so close to the wedding. Yes, some of the vendors at ours are necessarily wedding related (tanning, nutritions, decor, etc), but you really should have all of that figured out by then. Like BWLE said, see why she wants you with!

Post # 5
46414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are not being  a crappy bridesmaid. She is being a crappy bride for treating you this way. If she wants to go to a bridal show 2 weeks before her wedding, she can have at it, but she has no right to demand that you go or have hurt feelings that you can’t.

Post # 6
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

At first I read shower, and thought you could be a bit more accommodating. However, I’d never drag anyone (myself included) to a bridal show

Post # 7
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

What on Earth does she expect to gain from a bridal show 2 weeks prior to her wedding?  Surely all of her plans are in place and vendors selected.  This is just stupid and, no, you aren’t a bad bridesmaid.

Post # 8
2518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Not a bad bridesmaid.  

What is she hoping to get out of this bridal show? Any ideas she gets will be pretty tough to pull off in the last 2 weeks.  And vendors are likley booked already.  

Post # 9
857 posts
Busy bee

She is too demanding. Pointless to go to a show now! And how can she spring this on you and expect you to break plans to attend something that is pointles. If she is going to be mad and not understanding, i would waste the energy in worrying about this

Post # 10
297 posts
Helper bee

zcuriousbuzzybee:  If you feel this way then you should just bow out from being a bridesmaid completely.

Post # 11
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

yumcheez:  um what? hoping you’re joking. she should step down from being a bridesmaid because she doesn’t see a point to attending a bridal show/convention 2 wks before the wedding (when everything’s already planned & picked for the wedding anyway)?

zcuriousbuzzybee:  I never even wanted to go to a bridal show as the bride . . . just let her be upset.  She’ll calm down.  If you want, you can ask her if she needs help with something else for the wedding.  She seems to just be a lil nuts & have bridebrain right now.  Hopefully that’ll pass & she’ll get over it.

Post # 12
178 posts
Blushing bee

zcuriousbuzzybee:  I think she’s being unreasonable. Like you said her wedding is all planned, so why do you need to be there? Also, it’s last minute and I don’t think it’s fair to ask your wedding party to cancel their prior plans just because the bride/groom requests it. I try not to be unreasonable like that. 

Perhaps she’s just stressed, or I’ve heard that some people sort of get sad when their wedding day is coming/ends because they’ve been so focused on one thing for X amount of time, and now that it’s ending/over they don’t know what do to anymore. 

I would just tell her that you’re sorry you can’t make it, that you have prior plans that you’ve had for X amount of time and that you’ll be there in spirit. She’s probably just not in the right mental space. 

And I’m guessing you’ve gone to every other one of the events she’s made except for this one? The only way that I can imagine her being angry (justifiably) is if you are constantly not attending functions. But if that’s not the case then I wouldn’t sweat it.

Our bridal party members don’t show up for important things all the time, which perhaps we’re too nice about. 2 of them don’t respond to e-mails or texts at all, it’s rather annoying. But what can you do!? 

Post # 13
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

zcuriousbuzzybee:  thats silly! I’d stick with my prior plans. I don’t even know why she would be going that close to her wedding day…

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