(Closed) Bride Maid Drama Vent

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

She’s obviously trying to live vicariously through you. The truth is, decisions like centerpieces, invitation style, attire for bridal party etc. get made so quickly that it’s better if you just don’t involve anyone in the decision making process. Don’t tell her when youa re meeting wtih the florist or what you are considering. I didn’t even ask my BM’s for an opinion on the dress I picked out for them! I just made sure it was affordable.

Post # 4
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry, I know how frustrating that can be.  I think your best bet would be to make your own decisions, and when you tell her what you’ve gone with, just explain that her way sounded good, but you like your way better.

Example, your colors are green and blue.  She says “Oh you HAVE to have ice blue bridesmaid dresses!  That will look so great in January!”  You say thank you, consider her opinion, and make your own.  Somehow you and your FH decide that the the BMs will be wearing pine green dresses with a robin egg blue sash.  Tell her “We’ve decided to go with [xyz].  We are really excited about our choice, we feel that it’s very much our style.”  If she starts to put down your choice or gets offended that you didn’t choose ice blue dresses, let her finish, then say “I know that you’re very excited to help me plan the wedding, and I love to bounce ideas off of you.  However, this choice just reflects FH and me better.”

I had to use that same technique a MILLION times with my mom.  Flowers, dresses, colors, location, food…I used the same “template” every single time we talked.  She would say roses.  I would say tulips.  She’d freak out.  I’d assure her that it was a good suggestion, but not “us.”  It’s hard to argue with that answer!

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