Bride & Mother Veil disagreement :-/

posted 11 months ago in Accessories
Post # 2
9639 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You could have one but not walk down the aisle with it. Mine was flipped back at the start of the aisle. It is pretty and romantic in some pics. But if you really don’t want one tell your mom to deal. 

Post # 3
3253 posts
Sugar bee

I really feel like this is a choice you need to make, based on what’s right for you – NOT based on what your mom wants. You’ve been really clear there are multiple reasons you don’t want to wear one. I think it’s past time to stop explaining your reasoning to her, and just assert you will not be wearing one. Then change the subject every time she asks.

Post # 4
597 posts
Busy bee

Who is the bride? You or mom? Too bad for her 

Post # 5
78 posts
Worker bee

It’s my understanding that brides wore blushers to hide their face from the groom so the groom couldn’t see her from afar and run away if he didn’t think she was pretty enough. A leftover tradition from when women were property to be sold from father to husband.


However another culture or religion could assign a different meaning to the tradition.

Post # 6
8646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

cloud9bride :  Buy whatever veil you want. Next time mom brings it up, tell her “oh, I already bought it.” Problem solved.

Post # 7
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 -  Australia

I could have written a similar thread! My mother has decided that she will decide my veil for me, but the one she chose I really didn’t like for so many practical and aesthetic reasons. I have purchased another one without a blusher and will eventually inform her of my choice. This is our wedding. Suggestions are welcome; decisions for us are not! Totally with you, bee!

Post # 8
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

cloud9bride :  totally your choice to wear one or not. I wore one. I think they can actually look super romantic in photos. I was torn about wearing one, and my photog said “do it” so i went for it (: also, i had a HUGE uneven (outdoor) staircase to descend in my cathedral length veil lol. 

Post # 9
1317 posts
Bumble bee

Her reasoning makes me cringe. Some people are just SO stuck and zoned in on tradition. Will your father walking you down the aisle not special and meaningful enough? And if you do a father-daughter dance? I’d mention those to your mom, and let her know once you purchase your veil that it does not have a blusher. I wouldn’t entertain any more conversation about it till you’ve purchased the one that you want. She’ll get over it quickly once you are all done up and beautiful on your wedding day!

Post # 11
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

loveatthefinishline :  More recently and in American culture, it’s a symbol of virginity. Her face is covered in order to symbolize that no one has “seen her” before. So basically there’s no good history for them. The father lifts it to present her (and like you said, her potentially unattractive) innocent face to a new man. As though the dad has successfully kept her hidden away up until the wedding. Or the husband lifts it in a way that is metaphorically consummating his marriage to his virgin wife.

Post # 14
299 posts
Helper bee

I would kindly tell her that’s not how you envisioned your dress to look and go with what you want. 

Also, learning about blusher traditions is making me cringe so hard!! 

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