Bride Needing to Vent

posted 6 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Bee you need to breath… hold it in. o.k. Now it’s time to take control back, it’s YOUR wedding. You are in charge. Use your voice, that’s why you have one. Get all your bridesmaid’s together for a chitchat. ALL of them. Not just the one’s that are not cooperating. And simply spill your heart out and explain how you are feeling. Please don’t say well they won’t this or they won’t that. Just do it! Talk to them!!! And as far as plus one’s, my god. You say no and that is that. Don’t tell me your going to worry about hurting someone’s feelings please. It’s your wedding keep telling yourself that. You can tell them no without sounding like a bitch. It’s very simple. And yes some people don’t get it, they have never had to pay for a wedding they don’t know how expensive it is. It’s up to you to say NO. End of discussion. You have a voice for a reason and your incharge. It really doesn’t have to be this stressful if you talk to your bridesmaids and your co-workers. Just breath Bee, Your going to have a beautiful day.

Post # 3
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

christinacarr :  I’m a little stuck… did you ask/suggest/demand your bridesmaids lose weight? O.O If so, they may be grumpy about that. Just having trouble reading that sentence.

Post # 4
5887 posts
Bee Keeper

christinacarr :  They have not helped with anything, they barely answer any wedding related questions I have, and they complain about everything!  I have had every complaint in the book from them feeling my wedding day will be too cold, to I should be concerned about them fitting in their dress because they purposefully ordered the wrong size, to incentivize weight loss (but have decided to not lose weight and are weary of having the dress sized).  I have also had two bridesmaids become pregnant during the planning of our wedding which is entirely fine, but they both made dress demands after this.

A friend rearranging your appointments would be infuriating but some of the rest of this…what kind of help were you expecting? Where is your December wedding and are you asking your bridesmaids to take pictures outside? (I might be asking about the cold, too, especially in a strapless or strappy dress.) It seems reasonable that a friend learning she was pregnant might want to switch her dress…these are friends, not employees or worker bees, and they are there to support you on your wedding day. As a friend you have to be mindful of making sure they are happy and comfortable in that role. It’s supposed to be an honor to support the bride and groom, not a chore.

That said, ordering the wrong size dress and then complaining to you about it is rude. “That was a risk, I’m sure you’ll find some way to make it work out.” Some people are uncomfortable attending solo but demanding a plus one is rude. “I’m sorry, we are unable to accommodate your guest and understand if that means you are not able to attend.” 

Most adults pay for their weddings these days. They are expensive and a lot of work. Is your Fiance an active part of the planning process? 

Take a deep breath and decide where it is and isn’t appropriate to take a stand and what you either need to adjust your perspective on or just let go. 

Post # 5
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Welcome to the last 2 months of planning a wedding. I too had two pregnant bridesmaids & one who had just given birth. They didn’t decide on a dress until 2 months out.  Then the dresses were so sold out in their size. I had to order them in from overseas and all over the show!! 

Weddings are stressful. Everyone has an opinion. Nobody helps and it all falls on the bride. Just breathe!!

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