Post # 1
As my wedding is approaching, (less than 60 days out) the wedding stress is definitely beginning to build. I have had some of the craziest occurences in planning my wedding. First, any newly engaged brides, be extremely careful of who you ask to be in your wedding party! All of my bridesmaids except two have been horrible!! They have not helped with anything, they barely answer any wedding related questions I have, and they complain about everything! I have had every complaint in the book from them feeling my wedding day will be too cold, to I should be concerned about them fitting in their dress because they purposefully ordered the wrong size, to incentivize weight loss (but have decided to not lose weight and are weary of having the dress sized). I have also had two bridesmaids become pregnant during the planning of our wedding which is entirely fine, but they both made dress demands after this. I also had a bridesmaid try to rearrange my hair and makeup appointment after I had already paid a deposit down so she too could come to the salon I was going to. In addition, my fiance and I have paid for our wedding entirely ourselves, which is fine, but relatives are increasing demands on us and trying to force us to invite unnecessary family friends when we have repeatedly made it known that due to financing the wedding ourselves we would like to keep it small. In addition we invited a few select coworkers who are not in serious relationships and after sending out our invitations multiple coworkers have been either asking to bring plus ones, or telling us they are bringing plus ones. I am sick and tired of indivduals who have never been married, and never paid for a wedding acting like this is a barbeque at the beach! This is a wedding!!! It is expensive!!! I am normally never a complainer, and every demand that has been made of us we have accomodated not making it a big deal, but I am at the end of my nice rope! I never realized the audacity of people until you send them a damn wedding invitation! I’m almost to the wedding and I know that day will make everything worth it, but I’m just hoping theres some brides out there who have some advice, or maybe a crazy story that would be entertaining and stress relieving to hear.
Post # 2
Bee you need to breath…..now hold it in. o.k. Now it’s time to take control back, it’s YOUR wedding. You are in charge. Use your voice, that’s why you have one. Get all your bridesmaid’s together for a chitchat. ALL of them. Not just the one’s that are not cooperating. And simply spill your heart out and explain how you are feeling. Please don’t say well they won’t this or they won’t that. Just do it! Talk to them!!! And as far as plus one’s, my god. You say no and that is that. Don’t tell me your going to worry about hurting someone’s feelings please. It’s your wedding keep telling yourself that. You can tell them no without sounding like a bitch. It’s very simple. And yes some people don’t get it, they have never had to pay for a wedding they don’t know how expensive it is. It’s up to you to say NO. End of discussion. You have a voice for a reason and your incharge. It really doesn’t have to be this stressful if you talk to your bridesmaids and your co-workers. Just breath Bee, Your going to have a beautiful day.
Post # 3
christinacarr : I’m a little stuck… did you ask/suggest/demand your bridesmaids lose weight? O.O If so, they may be grumpy about that. Just having trouble reading that sentence.
Post # 4
christinacarr : They have not helped with anything, they barely answer any wedding related questions I have, and they complain about everything! I have had every complaint in the book from them feeling my wedding day will be too cold, to I should be concerned about them fitting in their dress because they purposefully ordered the wrong size, to incentivize weight loss (but have decided to not lose weight and are weary of having the dress sized). I have also had two bridesmaids become pregnant during the planning of our wedding which is entirely fine, but they both made dress demands after this.
A friend rearranging your appointments would be infuriating but some of the rest of this…what kind of help were you expecting? Where is your December wedding and are you asking your bridesmaids to take pictures outside? (I might be asking about the cold, too, especially in a strapless or strappy dress.) It seems reasonable that a friend learning she was pregnant might want to switch her dress…these are friends, not employees or worker bees, and they are there to support you on your wedding day. As a friend you have to be mindful of making sure they are happy and comfortable in that role. It’s supposed to be an honor to support the bride and groom, not a chore.
That said, ordering the wrong size dress and then complaining to you about it is rude. “That was a risk, I’m sure you’ll find some way to make it work out.” Some people are uncomfortable attending solo but demanding a plus one is rude. “I’m sorry, we are unable to accommodate your guest and understand if that means you are not able to attend.”
Most adults pay for their weddings these days. They are expensive and a lot of work. Is your Fiance an active part of the planning process?
Take a deep breath and decide where it is and isn’t appropriate to take a stand and what you either need to adjust your perspective on or just let go.
Post # 5
Welcome to the last 2 months of planning a wedding. I too had two pregnant bridesmaids & one who had just given birth. They didn’t decide on a dress until 2 months out. Then the dresses were so sold out in their size. I had to order them in from overseas and all over the show!!
Weddings are stressful. Everyone has an opinion. Nobody helps and it all falls on the bride. Just breathe!!
Post # 6
Thank you all so much for putting everything in perspective. I greatly appreciate the comforting reminders that everything will come together and that this is normal, especially the last few months. As for some of the specific questions, no, I did not ask my bridesmaids to lose weight, some of them wanted to and purposefully ordered their dresses too small as a means of incentivizing themselves to lose weight. I could care less who loses or does not lose weight my stress revolves around them not having a dress to wear if they do not lose weight, and still refuse to have their dress altered. Thank you again to everyone who offered advice, it is greatly appareciated! In addition, lesson learned do not ask people to be in your bridal party because you feel pressured to do so! It really should be your closest friends not people you feel pressured to ask!