(Closed) Bride needs to slow down

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

Just talk to her…if she’s your best friend then you need to be honest with her…that’s what best friends do. She is getting WAY ahead of herself and you just need to tell her that.

Post # 3
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

Do the “maybe” BMs and GMs know they are maybes? If so, I think they’ll put the kibosh on dress/tux shopping pretty quickly themselves.

Post # 4
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

mo711:  You really need to talk to her! She is skipping wayyyyy too far ahead! If your starting ttc you can’t be buying a dress yet not with 18months to go. Just sit her down and say look I don’t know how my body will be in 18 months time we can go and look at dresses but I wont be buying until 6 months before. I know your excited but I don’t want to risk needing to buy another dress. 18 months is a long time!

Post # 5
Member
47214 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

mo711:  I don’t understand why you can’t talk to her if she is your best friend. Leave out all the stuff that doesn’t affect you personally, so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Talk to her about things that affect you directly. Let the other people deal with their own issues.

“____ I would prefer to wait to choose my dress as ___ and I are going to TTC in a few months. I am not able to spend money on a dress that I might not be able to wear to your wedding. I am happy to go with you to look at dresses, as long as you are aware that I won’t be ordering anything for quite a while.”

Post # 6
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

RSVPs on her save the dates?  She’s crazy.  You might just have to be blunt with her – “I’m feeling really uncomfortable with the idea of buying a dress now, can we leave it for six months until I have more idea where I’ll be by the date of your wedding?”.

Post # 7
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

If I had to buy a bridesmaid dress 18 months in advance, I would need to buy it in 5 different sizes! LOL

Post # 8
Member
6846 posts
Busy Beekeeper

She needs a reality check! She’s putting the cart before the horse(s). Someone needs to tell her how hurt these “maybe” BMs could be to be included in dress shopping and then be told they aren’t going to be bridesmaids after all?  And who orders a tux a year and a half before a wedding? Dye lots change, selections get discontinued, and bridal and tux shops can go out of business in that span of time! Appeal to her practical side if she has one.

Post # 11
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Can you give her one of those timelines/checklists that wedding websites and magazines have? You should really talk to her about creating a realistic timeline or else it is going to be a LONG 18 months – for you, her, and everyone else involved. 

Post # 12
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee

My wedding isn’t until next June but I’m the same as your friend getting things done early – difference being I’m not actually buying or booking anything right now, just getting a good idea of what I like. The reason I started so early is because I have so much on in my life this year, so I’d prefer to get things done with plenty of time. You do need to talk to her, but just another point of view 😊

 

Post # 13
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

mo711:  That…is awkward, to say the least. Hopefully you are close enough to her to gently tell her how much it could affect her and her FI’s (presumably closest) friendships if she asks people to buy dresses and tuxes and then tells them “haha jk you’re not actually in my wedding!” And yeah, definitely put the brakes on buying your own dress like PPs suggested until you know whether you will be preggo by the wedding. Six months should be plenty even taking alteration times into account.

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