I don’t get these people who are saying YOUR money is HIS money anyway, so DEAL with it! Sorry NOT true!!!!! It is YOUR MONEY, but since you are marrying, you have to allow for flexibility in changes of financial security with you both and have to see it as money you will use to pay for both you needs until the other half gets back on his/her feet.
You clearly LOVE this man, and he at least he is working and is not a lay about, so you are sticking with it and trying not to resent the situation. – You ARE allowed to feel this way!! don’t LET ANY ONE make you feel like you are bad person for doing so.
I make more money than my man, nearly 2x as much, I am 3 years older, I have saved for OUR future and am still saving for OUR future, he has not even started! Yes, it pisses me off, as he IS working and he has no debt, he feels spending stupid amounts on his 4×4 is more important than saving for our future, he somehow hangs on to the notion that 1 or 2 big commission deals will pay for his half of the wedding and be a good kick start for his savings plan, that does not go down with me……..If he saves just 1 % of his monthly income, that is a good start, and he can easily do that!
Sometimes I think women are more practical in these situations. Now I love my man, and therefore I will accept that this is a problem we need to work at, I understand he is younger than me and still working his way up the ladder, and perhaps I am a lil more accomplished career wise, the fact that he is ambitious makes me feel better, but he does need a reality check and a kick up the ass at times…This aint a game! We will start a family in 2 years, we are getting married in less than two years, he wants a house, etc – If he does not start saving NOW, he can forget all that! He needs to set his expectations lower, he wants a 3 bed house, another car, a live in maid if we have a baby, etc………….Well guess what, that costs money and he has 0 savings! – He promises me as of next month once our rent has gone out, he will start saving, he is also pushing for a pay rise at work (I actually saw proof of that) and I believe him, so that is fine by me. I don’t remind him all the time that I am the bread winner, as I don’t want him to feel like a looser or less of a man, but I do remind him that in order to achieve all he want to s achieve, own all he wants to women, he needs to earn more and SAVE and in order to earn more, he needs to stop being such a push over all work and allowing his boss to take advantage of him, which he does – He agrees, I think we will see changes soon, I hope we will!
By The Way – I think considering you man is contributing a BIG FAT 0 and neither is anyone else, and it is YOUR day too, you have every right to cut guest list and reduce costs, I am sorry but your Fiance has no right to EXPECT this and that if all the stress and burden is on your to cover costs, hell no, I would not accept that. Perhaps have an adult chat with him and explain how you feel, have you tried this?