Post # 1
One of my BM’s planned a wonderful weekend in Charlotte, NC with all my BM’s for my Bachelorette weekend. It is this coming weekend, May 15. I was very shocked by this but I was included in splitting the cost of the hotel room I will be staying in (we had to get 2 rooms) and I had to pay my share of that. We are doing Wine & Design on Saturday afternoon and I had to pay for my part of that as well. We are doing a VIP night at a local bar on Saturday night that charges per person but I didn’t have to pay for that. So I’m wondering….do I need to budget/plan on paying for each of my meals as well as my drinks when we go out? I would never expect for one/any of the BM’s to pay for every single meal & drink of mine but I’m just trying to figure out if I should plan on paying for all of it. I’m just shocked that I had to pay for those 2 things for my own bachelorette weekend. I am extremely grateful/appreciative that my Bridesmaid or Best Man went to such great lengths to organize this and I am super excited! I guess I’m just wondering if that’s normal that the Bride still has to pay her way for things at her bachelorette weekend & maybe I just watched too many movies/TV where the bride didn’t pay a dime. I have to admit that I’m a little jealous of my Fiance because he had his bachelor weekend 2 weeks ago and he didn’t have to pay anything…hotel, drinks, golf, etc were all split between all of his groomsmen. He has 11 groomsmen and I have 10 bridesmaids…not sure if that number matters or makes a difference.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t assume they would pay for meals and drinks. If they do, bonus, but I think you should budget as if you would be covering your share.
I’m not sure what “normal” is. I’m not doing a batchelorette and the few I’ve been to haven’t been for more than just an evening (usually just a dinner + a bar).
Post # 3
I think it’s really dependent on who actually planned things. If you told your Bridesmaid or Best Man you wanted a weekend bachelorette in Charlotte, then it’s only fair you pay for a portion of that.
I’d plan to pay for meals and extras. If they pay for you then great, but you don’t want to be stuck with your pants down
Post # 4
I’m Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend, and when i was planning I asked the fellow ‘hens’ to chip in 20gbp to pay for the bride – not all of them could which i appreciate as everyone is on different salaries. I think in the UK its ‘normal’ for the bride to not pay for herself. With the girls chipping in it covers half of her cost, and i will make up the rest. The bride offered to pay her share but i wanted it to be a treat and also its a surprise so she has no idea what we are doing. Our package included hotel & breakfast for 2x nights, 2x activties, one dinner. So the extra dinner and lunches / drinks etc she will pay her way.
If i were you i would plan to pay for the extras and then be surprised if the other girls have already sorted that out for you. Have an amazing weekend 🙂
Post # 5
I think you should budget to pay for your meals. They may offer to pay for some of them – which would be kind of them – but you don’t want to get caught out.
As with PPs, I’m not really sure what the norm is when it comes to brides paying for the bachelorette. I think it depends on where you live, who planned the event, how much input the bride had (was she adamant to do a weekend away or give her BMs free reign, for example).
Post # 6
Yes I’m from the UK too and I think it is perfectly normal for the bride not to pay for things – maybe she chips in a little if its an expensive affair, but not as much. I know when I had my hen party all my hens paid my way for our activities.
Post # 7
I’m also from the UK and I’m the complete opposite to these ladies
I paid for my own weekend and all my meals. The girls treated me to the majority of my drinks and also put lots of effort into other aspects like dressing up and bridal props (veil ect) so I would have felt terrible if they’d paid for my weekend too
I think it really just depends on the area your are from if that’s common process where you are from then expect it if it’s not then don’t
Post # 8
I have known the bride since early childhood, and i appreciated that the bride offered to pay her way.. but its something i felt she shouldnt need to and was lucky the other hens offered to chip in as i am flying from Australia! The bride is paying my wedding costs and I will be staying with her whilst I am in the UK..I guess it all depends what each person feels comfortable with!
My Fiance has never contributed towards a stag, whereas I have always thought it was the norm to contribute towards a hen! I agree it all depends where in the world you are from! I think the most important thing is having a lovely time with your girlfriends, in whichever way you like best to celebrate regardless of who pays what 🙂
Post # 9
I’d just go with it. Expect everything to be split (including you), and be pleasantly surprised and very grateful if people decide to cover you. They’re already shelling out a ton for the wedding, so please don’t expect them to pay for you all weekend too. Them being there is a gift, too.
Post # 10
If you expect a bachalorette weekend (side note….seriously? When and why did this become a thing? BMsare already shelling out serious bucks for the wedding itself, now the expectation is a whole weekend away too???) then expect to help pay. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I can cover the brides dinner and drinks on a girl’s night out. I can’t cover her hotel, meaps, entertainment and such for a whole weekend. That’s ridiculous.
Post # 12
Unless the bride has specifically requested something ‘low key’ (read cheap) then I think it’s only fair they pay their share.
As a Bridesmaid or Best Man for my sister, I’m becoming all too aware of how the costs really add up for a Bridesmaid or Best Man. This is what I will be up for, that I know of so far (AU$);
Dress $320 (inc alteration)
Spray Tan $50
Accomodation x 2 nights $240
Rehersal Dinner $60
Plus we each Bridesmaid or Best Man will have to be the trial for each of the hair, makeup, tan and nails. So another $50-90 each. So thats well over $1000 before I count the 2 days off work I will have to take, travel to the semi-destination, and before a bachelorette or present is bought!!
So should the Bridesmaid or Best Man have to foot the bill for a weekend away? NO.
Post # 13
Like others who have replied I’m a UK bee and here is totally normal for the bride to pay her way for the whole thing – hotels, meals, drinks etc. But I suppose if it isn’t normal where you are from I can understand you feeling a bit fed up with the situation.
Either way I would always take enough money to cover everything, as a worst-case scenario, then it’s a bonus if they pay for things and you will come home with the cash.
Post # 14
In my circle of friends, we have generally paid for the bride (meals, hotel, gifts etc). I can see where this gets confusing, if you have attended bachelorette parites and the bride hasn’t paid for anything. Side note: we also don’t plan elaborate parties- we try to stay reasonable. (not saying your weekend is unreasonable, we have done many of ours in Savannah. We live in Florida)
I agree with PPs and I wouldn’t expect them to pay for your meals and everything else, but if they do then it is a great surprise 🙂
Post # 15
Why do you have to pay for the rehearsal dinner? Is there a way to cut some of your costs down like opt out of: nails, makeup, hair, spray tan or is she requiring all of these things? In my opinion, if the bride wants her bms to look a certain way (besides dress/shoe/jewelry) then she should have to pay for it.
Sorry, post hijakcing over here!