(Closed) Bride Planning Her Shower?!

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3300 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

just have the party she wants you to have. It’s in her honor and if she is that vocal about her desires, she probably won’t be satisfied unless she gets exactly that.  You can certainly be creative with the decor, the activities and possibly the drinks and other types of food. But I wouldn’t fight on her on what she wants for her own party.

Post # 4
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think she’s probably trying to be helpful and make it easy for you, but that’s not what you want! Just go to her and say, I’m trying to plan a few special surprises for you so please let you handle it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You really have two options:

1) You can tell her that she made your shower and bach party special, and now it’s your turn to do the same for her. And while you will not be serving soup and sandwiches, or have postcard invites, you have made a menu you know she will love. However, doing this might risk her saying that it is a party for her, and she has envisioned in a different way.

2) You could ignore the menu you wanted to use and just plan the shower how she wants it. Maybe she really likes cooking and is looking forward to making soup and sandwiches. It might be frustrating for you, but you would know that she is happy and is getting exactly what she wants. And really, if she wants to do the leg work, then you might as well let her because it’s less work for you.

It really just depends on what kind of drama you are willing to deal with. If you’d rather be annoyed yourself, but know she’s happy, go with #2; if you’d rather make her a little annoyed but also make it a special and relaxing day for her, go with #1.

Post # 6
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@megz06:   I just want her to show up and have fun ๐Ÿ™‚

Tell her this.  Say “I have a really nice shower already planned and I just want you to be able to show up and enjoy being the bride for the day.  So I will be providing all of the food for the party so you can just show up looking pretty and enjoy the festivities.”  Enlist her FH to tell her to trust you on this.

P.S. I think she would be okay with the slips of paper for the bachelorette.  It doesn’t sound like she is being demanding, just that she wants you to be able to kill two birds with one stone by sending out one envelope with both invites in it.

Post # 7
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, this bride kind of sounds like me. Everyone knows I’m super particular so I tend to have a hand in anything that’s technically thrown in my honor. For example, Darling Husband wanted to throw me a party for finishing grad school and I was the one that picked out the decorations at the party supply store and I was the one that picked out what to order from the restaurant. When I found out DH’s mom wanted to bring extra homemade food “just because”, I initially was upset (yes, irrationally) because it wasn’t what I planned. I didn’t mind the extra effort and the peace of mind knowing it’s exactly what I want trumps any exhaustion I might otherwise have.

With this in mind, I would just say that if your friend wants it exactly her way, I would just do it, unless it’s going to cost you a lot more money or time (e.g. had she asked for cavier and lobster). People know what she’s like so even if they didn’t care for something (e.g. the lack of bach invites), they’ll likely think it’s her decision anyway.

Post # 8
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Tell her you love her and that you’ll plan her an awesome party! You want to make it about her, so let you. ๐Ÿ™‚

I can relate though. I love to plan parties for other people, so it’s taking a lot of will power for me to not help with mine. I’d be happy to cook food, setup, and clean up. But they’re not having it.

You know your friend and the best way to tell her – I’ve got this!

Post # 9
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@WestCoast:  This.

She wants to force people to sit through a Pampered Chef pitch? No thank you.

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