(Closed) Bride Shower Contributiona

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to contribute to the overall shower cost? Or can I just send a gift?

    Overall cost

    Send a gift

    No expectation since you're out of town

  • Post # 2
    Member
    47418 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    rockchick759:  Have you been consulted by the Maid/Matron of Honor and the other BM’s to give you any input in the planning of the shower? If not, I would just send a small gift.

    If you have had input in planning the shower and would be considered a hostess other than the fact that you won’t be able to attend, then I would contribute a share of the costs. That amount can still be less than the amount those members of the bridal party who are attending would contribute.

    If I were the bride or the other BM’s I would not expect a financial contribution from someone we know can’t attend.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2803 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Are the other girls all contributing? If so, they may have budgeted for you to pay for a portion. I would suggest contacting one of the other bridesmaids to find out. If they are not expecting a contribution, just send a gift. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    If I were planning the shower I’d expect nothing from you except a gift, but I have low expectations, lol. I would talk to whomever is in charge of this shower if you’re really concerned, otherwise I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222

    View original reply
    rockchick759:  

    I agree with PP. Unless you specifically designed or planned part of the shower, you can just send a gift. There isn’t really a reason for you to pay for a party you can’t attend, bridesmaid or not.

    Post # 7
    Member
    47418 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    rockchick759:

    Send her a response that you hope everything goes well with the shower. Maybe mention that this is an example of one of the downsides of being an OTT Bridesmaid or Best Man, you can’t be involved in planning or hosting the shower.

    Was it a group text to all the BM’s? Either way, I wouldn’t feel pressured to pay to host a shower that everyone knows you can’t attend.

    The topic ‘Bride Shower Contributiona’ is closed to new replies.

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