(Closed) Bride to be needs an attitude adjustment???

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As a friend, I’d say something to her, but you have to be very gentle with the conversation because it’s not going to be anything she wants to hear.  It’s one of those “don’t shoot the messenger” things.  It does seem like she’s been brainwashed into believing that being the bride #1 excuses any bad behavior and #2 entitles you to months of special treatment, and neither of those things are true.

I’m not exactly sure how to best word it, but having had to take some hard advice from a friend years ago, I can tell you that it’s probably going to be an uncomfortable conversation for you; however, in retrospect, that hard advice was definitely something I needed to hear even if I didn’t want to, and I really respect the friend who sat me down and helped me see the error of my ways. While my example wasn’t wedding-related, it’s a lesson I’ve carried for years and once I got over the initial hurt feelings, I really appreciated the talk.  

Post # 4
Member
7750 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nona99:  No, you are not obliged to bring your stepson or anyone else. If she pulls the “I’m the bride” line again, just say sorry, I’m not bringing him, that’s that.

However, how old is he?  If he is an adult and she would like to invite him directly, I don’t see how you can stop her.

Post # 6
Member
46371 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would speak with her but ONLY about things that directly involved me. I would not comment on how she is ordering her Fiance around, for example.

Post # 7
Member
7750 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nona99:  Then I completely agree with you. “I’m the bride” doesn’t give her the right to dictate to you that you must do something which makes you stressed and/or miserable. She can’t say you must bring your (step) child; that’s a parenting decision she has no say in. Just keep saying “no”.

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