(Closed) Bride to be waited until the wedding rehearsal to let me know I wasn't her MOH.

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
  • poll: Was the way she went about announcing her MOH wrong?
    Yes : (33 votes)
    63 %
    No : (19 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 2
    3712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Don’t count your chickens before they hatch next time?

    Post # 3
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I think its very, very weird to finally announce who is the Maid/Matron of Honor at the rehearsal dinner, like they have just won the Bachelor or something. At that point what does it even matter?

    But I don’t think you should have ever assumed that you were the Maid/Matron of Honor, and I wouldn’t hold it against her now. 

    Post # 4
    4052 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I’m usually a person who thinks someone is entitled to their feelings, whatever they may be. However, I do think you are being way dramatic.

    I could understand being hurt about the fact that she announced it the way she did, but I don’t get your hostility and outward anger toward her.

    You obviously mean a lot to her since she DID ask you to be in the Bridal Party. This is still an honor.

    It would be one thing if she didn’t even acknowledge your friendship at all but it sounds like you had unrealistic expectations. I think you need to let it go and get over yourself. 

    Post # 5
    294 posts
    Helper bee

    I can understand why you’re hurt but it would have been better if you didn’t make any assumptions. Your friend was clear about not being able to choose between you and her other friend. It’s not fair to blame her for your assumption. Maybe she didn’t assert herself because she was afraid that you wouldn’t react well.

    I doubt that your friend meant to hurt you. Choosing bridal party members is very difficult. Hopefully you can put aside your hurt feelings and be there for her on her special day.

    Post # 6
    7903 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    You know what happens when you assume something. Unless she explicitly said, “I would like you to be Maid/Matron of Honor,” I don’t know how you could think you were actually the Maid/Matron of Honor. It is a little strange, though, that she had her husband state who “won the final rose as MOH” like on The Bachelor.

    Post # 9
    1787 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Usually moh wears a slightly different dress than the other bridesmaids — so you all are wearing the same dress? And moh is usually in charge of the bachelorette party– did you plan it?

    Post # 12
    1072 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I feel that you were wrong for assuming, but I also feel she’s wrong. I can’t say what is in her head, but this strikes me as someone who is friend zoning all the bridesmaids so that she can get the benefit of Maid/Matron of Honor from all of them then “award” the title at the end. Why else wait until it’s over to name MOH? 

    Post # 14
    47214 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    She handled the situation very poorly. You assumed you were the Maid/Matron of Honor. You were both in the wrong.

    Surely if she meant you to be Maid/Matron of Honor, the words would have come out of her mouth at some time during her engagement? To the sales clerk ” This is ___, my Maid/Matron of Honor. ???????


    Post # 15
    11574 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    jennette409 :  but you knew when you were washing her hair and diving her around that you were not her Maid/Matron of Honor, since they announced it the night before. 

    So while it was super high drama and rude of her to wait to announce and do it in front of everyone, you really hadn’t done any of the more burdensome jobs of MOh like paying/planning/hosting a bachelorette party. 

    Yeah, it could have been done better but you keep mentioning her passive aggressive nature, so I’m guessing it wasn’t really a surprise and this is kind of who she is. 

    The topic ‘Bride to be waited until the wedding rehearsal to let me know I wasn't her MOH.’ is closed to new replies.

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