(Closed) Bride wants bridal party vacation before wedding….

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Don’t go. Life is too short to do things you don’t want out of obligation. Just say it won’t work for you & hope they have a great trip!

Post # 3
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

You’re not required to go on a vacation for her bridal party / bachelorette and can simply say no.

Maybe, however, you should have said no when she asked you to be Maid/Matron of Honor – I know the world doesn’t revolve around a person’s wedding, but I’d be bummed if my Maid/Matron of Honor said “I don’t like being in bridal parties because of the obligations” right out of the gate.   

Post # 4
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I don’t think you should go. As previous posters said, that is not part of your obligation as a Maid/Matron of Honor. I would just be honest and say that your schedule will not allow for a weekend away. 

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

Agreed, you don’t have to go. But the bachelorette is not an uncommon part of the bridal party, and while you’re not obligated to attend, typically the maid of honor is pretty heavily involved in this—so I can understand why she’s asked you, and why she really wants you to bethere. 

These trips can be time consuming, expensive, and sometimes awkarwd … but it can also be a really important and vital way of showing your love and appreciation for her friendship—and you can end up having a wonderful, memorable time. If she’s a big part of your life (and presumably as cousins, and she asking you to be her maid of honor, she would be) it might be good to suck it up, go, and be there for her. You really have to weigh what’s most important to you.

Post # 7
Member
731 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Mlim :  there you go, sometimes honesty is the best policy. 🙂 Good for you, better to do what you did than have hurt feelings.

Post # 8
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

I think it depends on your relationship with your cousin – I know she asked you to be her maid of honor but maybe she feels differently about your relationship than you do. If the relationship is important enough to you that you’re willing to make sacrifices, then go (or maybe at least try to compromise on a weekend or day trip somewhere closer). If the relationship is actually not that important to you and you really don’t want to go, don’t go – but I’d also then be prepared to offer to step down as maid of honor and let her ask someone who will be excited to celebrate her.

Post # 9
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
Mlim :  It is good you were upfront and that helps if you decide not to go on the trip. 

Personally, I think you need to consider – do you just not feel like going or is it really a huge hassle for you. If it’s the former and if it’s the only thing she’s requested you do prior to the wedding, I’d say go and help her celebrate.    

Post # 10
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Is this her bach. party? How do the other Bridesmaids feel? Maybe it should be toned down depending on everyone’s schedules and budgets.

As a bride, my dream bach. party would have been to go somewhere hot but realistically a a local night out in the city is what I’m getting and that’s just fine. Heck, even that was a stretch since one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man had a baby and some are broke.

Post # 11
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Noooo don’t go.

Post # 12
Member
3187 posts
Sugar bee

Tell her in sounds like fun, but unfortunately, you’re overextended right now & won’t be able to attend.

Post # 13
Member
7352 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t let people dictate my vacations unless they are paying for them and even then, it’s based on my availability and whether or not I want to. With all that you have going on AND the fact that YOU said you don’t want to, I would not go.

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