Bride wants bridesmaids to purchase "get ready" outfits… is this standard?

posted 6 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

If you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’m assuming this is a close friend or family member? 

I don’t get the whole “Don’t mention it to her, but judge her for it thing” that seems to be so common on these boards.  Yes she’s the bride, but she’s also a person who is close to you.  My friends and family do annoying shit sometimes, and I call them out on it!  Shouldn’t be any different just because they’re getting married.

So call her, or speak to her in person.  Just be like yo, what’s up with these getting ready outfits?  You know brides usually provide the outfits if they want us all matching? and if she’s like they were too expensive or something you can be like, well what makes you think I can afford it?  Sorry girl, it just isn’t in the budget.  

If she’s a reasonable person she’ll appreciate the wake up call.  If she isn’t and goes all bridezilla, well at least you know you tried. 

Post # 17
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Not standard, entitled as fuck. I would not comply. 

Post # 18
Member
47140 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

anonymouspanda : 

 

Getting ready outfts are completely unnecessary. If the bride wants them for her pictures, she provides them. Why do we women fall for all these ideas? Do you ever see men fretting about all wearing the same thing? The photographer waits to take pics of he men until they are dressed.

Not speaking up beause no one else is , is just supid. You will likely find that more than one other person doesn’t want to do this. I would propose an alternate solution, that you all wear a white button up and leggings, sweats etc of your own choice and the bride can wear what she wants.

Post # 19
Member
13461 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s absurd.  You shouldn’t have to buy a getting ready outfit.  I’d do it, but I might make some snide comment about it, depending on how well I knew the other girls. 

Post # 20
Member
6008 posts
Bee Keeper

There is a regular debate over whether or not getting ready outfit are considered gifts from the bride to her party but I’ve never heard of a bride asking (demanding) her maids purchase them. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Where does it end?

Post # 22
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK

I personally think that “getting ready outfits” is pretty extra anyway, but the bride expecting you to pay for it (when it’s for her and you will not be able to even use it again) is utterly ridiculous and very rude of her.

I agree it’s probably just easier to go along with it rather than object, but that’s just me.

Post # 23
Member
2700 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Entitled as fuck.  I’d just say sorry, that’s not in my budget.

Post # 24
Member
8646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

anonymouspanda :  I’d refuse: “I’m not buying that. I’ll try to stay out of the photographer’s way if that means you don’t want me in pictures.” Going along with this ridiculous AW bullshit is how it becomes a thing. I already thought getting ready outfits were silly but if a bride wants to pretend like all her friends regularly prance around in matching pyjamas, whatever. No harm no foul I guess — as long as she’s paying. When she starts demanding that her friends pay for this charade, that’s over the top and should not be sucked up.

Post # 25
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It was brought to us by a member of the bridal party as a “per bride’s request, we will be ordering…” type of deal

Bride is too chicken to tell you herself what she wants. You stand up and tell her no or to not expect a wedding gift. She is not allowed to spend your money.

Post # 26
Member
833 posts
Busy bee

anonymouspanda :  I will never understand why anyone in this world would be required to spend hundreds of dollars to be apart of someone else’s marriage commitment.

Post # 27
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

No if she wants you to where anything special she should provide it. 

Post # 28
Member
8946 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

rockclimberbride :  Yeah this makes it seem highly likely that the bride knows that this is not something she should be asking her bridesmaids to pay for!

Post # 29
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

That’s not standard at all. What kind of bride makes you buy shit for HER wedding pics? Normally the bridesmaids just wear robes while they’re getting their hair and makeup done.

Post # 30
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

im fine with wearing matching things for the sake of a photo, but she should be buying it. If she is insistent on not making the purchase, then i would take that 40 out of any wedding gift you give her. 

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