Bride wants bridesmaids to purchase "get ready" outfits… is this standard?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
317 posts
Helper bee

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anonymouspanda :  Set your standards early on and you wouldnt be in this sticky situation of “what’s $40 when I’ve spent hundreds.” No bride (unless all of her girls are well off) should expect them to spend “hundreds” to be their bridesmaid. And those “getting ready” outfits are usually gifts from the bride as a thank you. 

Post # 32
123 posts
Blushing bee

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anonymouspanda :  I agree with most that if the bride wants getting ready outfits, it’s up to her to get them! Like you, I’ll probably buy my bridesmaids robes are part of their gifts. I think that’s super cute! But to ask that all the ladies wear something specific on their dime is a little strange.

Post # 33
100 posts
Blushing bee

I’m assuming you know the bride, does this seem like something she would do? I ask because is it possible the bride doesn’t know about this and the person who informed you all knows the bride likes the idea and wants to surprise her with it?
I understand your hesitation with talking to the bride, but talk to the person that made the demand. If you all feel annoyed by this, talk to that person who can talk to the bride on your behalf since for some reason the bride has a messenger.

On top of having you guys buy your own robes, you also have to pitch in for hers? I’m not a fan of bridesmaid having to buy their own dress, but this is getting ridiculous.

Post # 34
3 posts

I had these at my wedding, but I also paid for them myself! That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t start a fight with her over it, but it is rude.

Post # 35
1885 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Yeah… I bought the bridesmaids (and flower girl) nice robes with their names embroidered on the back as a thank you gift. I surprised them with the robes the morning of the wedding and we all put them on to get ready and for those early-on photos. 

Post # 36
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2029

This does not sound standard.  Personally I find that to be a waste of money, therefore I won’t be purchasing this stuff, nor are my Bridesmaid or Best Man.  As others have said, I think its rude and she shouldn’t act so spoiled.  

Post # 37
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Noooo… just come right out and say: “Sorry, I’m not going to be able to buy that because it’s not in my budget.” That phrasing is best because it doesn’t mean you’re broke (she probably knows you aren’t), but everyone should have a budget for their spending, especially once weddings come into play. Seriously, don’t buy it!! 

Post # 38
19 posts

Just wondering have any of the other bridesmaids actually heard this directly from the bride? I could easily see myself sitting around on Pinterest with my best friend and dropping a casual “how cute is this!” comment. My friend might ask if I thought it might be fun for us and if I said yes, maybe she runs with the idea?  To me that would be quite different from a bride demanding something. That a collection is being taken up for the bride’s is what really makes me think she did not demand it and that we might just have an overly excited bridesmaid with poor communication skills or a misunderstanding. And if it’s bothering you this much then just ask a clarifying question or two. I would hate to have the ladies I asked to stand by my side on such a special day silently judging me over $40, especially that I may not have ever known about. 

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