Post # 16
I had around 70 people total at my showers (emphasis on the “S”) because we had one for friends, and one for each side of the family. I would tell her that you’re only comfortable hosting one up to, say, 30 friends– and ask her to talk with her family about hosting showers for their sides!
Post # 17
OH MY GOSH I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU EVEN STAYED FRIENDS WITH HER AFTER THAT HOLY BAJEEZUS
Post # 18
NO WAY, you do NOT have to throw the shower for her. You can offer to pay toward it or contribute by throwing her bachelorette party. Showers are ONLY for close guests, not all the wedding guests. It should be no more than 50 people. Stand your ground bee!
I just had a shower with 30 people and my bridesmaids didn’t contribute financially (to the venue), I did and I was okay with that. They did contribute to the food, decor, and invitations.
Post # 19
wow my Maid/Matron of Honor experience was similar! When I was Maid/Matron of Honor years ago, I was told by the bride I had to plan the shower. I had no where to hold it. I was living with my mom then, and she said I could not have it at her house. Me & the other bridesmaids could not afford a hall, and trying to get in touch with them was like herding cats.
I told the bride we could have a lunch for the bridesmaids somewhere, she acted like I suggested we have it in McDonald’s parking lot next to the dumpster. She said she and her Future Mother-In-Law agreed, she deserves better than “a lunch” which she made sound like an insult. I felt like crap! I had one job, not much money and couldn’t give this shower! The Future Mother-In-Law and a bridesmaid Future Sister-In-Law took over and had it in the FMIL’s basement. I felt inadequate. I did what I could.
This Bride was Maid/Matron of Honor in someone else’s wedding, and told me what a pain in the ass it was, she wished she hadn’t agreed. So fast-forward to my own wedding a few years later. The Bride snubbed my whole wedding, no card, no RSVP to the invitation, no show, because she was mad I didn’t pick her as Maid/Matron of Honor. So I guess I couldn’t do anything right, in her eyes!
Your post helps me to this day.
Post # 20
Wtf? Figure out between you and the other bm what amount you can afford to host then offer that. 100 people for a shower is bigger than my wedding was. I mean to each their own but this sounds ridiculous.