Post # 1
I am Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’a wedding. Last night while we were having a drink we started discussing the bachelorette party. I told her I was thinking of a fun beach weekend (We live 2 hours from the beach). She said beach weekends were typical for her and wanted to go to Vegas. Ugh. I told her that would be a lot more expensive but she replied that flights there weren’t thet expensive, we could get a good deal on hotels because she knows someone, etc etc etc.
I really really don’t want to plan a Vegas bachelotette party. I think it’s kind of ridiculous IMO and expensive. Most of they bridesmaids live locally .
She was my Maid/Matron of Honor and planned an awesome 2-day party for me in our home city (limo scavenger hunt in the city). We were able to stay at her house for my party so it was not expensive.
I want to give her an awesome party, especially since she did a great job with mine, but I am just not at all big on the destination weekends because of the expenses and probable time taken off of work.
Should I just suck it up and give her the party she wants?
Post # 3
@hollyberry4: I would get in touch with the other bridesmaids and check out their interest. I doubt that you’re the only one that doesn’t want to spend a lot of money on a destination party. I think a beach weekend sounds awesome. You could rent a cute little condo by the beach…the possibilities are endless.
Post # 4
@iceland_bride: thanks…. I know one other bridesmaid would not be able to go because of the cost. I don’t know the other bridesmaids as well so I will have to get in touch.
Post # 5
@hollyberry4: nope – you’ll end up annoyed and resenting her. the bachelorette party is a gift to her she shouldn’t be hinting (or outright asking) for something so extravagant.
i’d let her know that you’ll take it under advisement but that due to everyone’s finances (and schedules!) you hope she’ll be happy with whatever you plan for her, you’re so excited to be able to do this for her and you loved what she did for you.
Post # 6
I went through something similar with a friend. I suggest planning the fun, exciting weekend you can afford to do (happily), and if she wants a vegas party let her plan it. There’s no sense in you breaking the bank for a weekend you’ll regret and resent her for.
Post # 7
After checking with the BMs about what they would like to do and host…most likely jot a weekend in Vegas. Firmly go back to the bride and tell her Vegas is out. Ask her for a night or weekend she is available. Then surprise with some really good fun where you live.
Is the bride into spooky stuff? Baltimore has haunted city tours at night. That and a fortune teller could be big fun.
Post # 8
@hollyberry4: I know it’s not the same at all, but why not do a weekend in Atlantic city? You can have a casino and club and dinner maybe see a show? Plus the beach is an option. I went to a bachelorette party there and we used a groupon for the hotel And saved a lot with it.
Post # 9
@hollyberry4: This is the 2nd post I’ve read this morning about a bride with outrageous expectations.
NO. And flat out tell her you wouldn’t be able to afford such a trip and leave it at that. Her wedding is her day, but this expensive wedding lead up is insane and very self-centered. YOU plan to party, not her.
1. BM’s cannot afford this type of weekend (and if they wanted to save for a trip, is it most deinitely not a bachelorette trip)
2. It takes vacation time, and many bees would rather spend that time with their own families
3. It’s inconsiderate of the bride if you live no where near Vegas
Post # 10
@MASPA: yes I thought about that…. But she really loved the beach and the beach there is pretty gRoss from what I’ve heard, right? I though ocean city would be fun because the beach is nice and there are all of he other things too. Plus she loves ocean city and loves Seacrets. I think she is just envisioning something little more grand and different. In my opinion it’s the people and not so much the place that makes a party fun.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
@tampalove35: Yep, that other thread BLEW UP, too.
Vegas is super fun, yes. (So are beach weekends!) But what about getting a sense of what the bridesmaids can afford before making this decision? If everyone is psyched! to spend lots of money… go to Vegas. If they don’t want to spend more than a certain amount, let that guide you.
Post # 13
@hollyberry4: Atlantic City beach is kind of gross depending on what part of AC you’re in, but I also find that Ocean City (the beach, maybe not…but OC itself) is kinda gross too. Just my opinion, lol. I don’t go over there anymore, the traffic is NOT worth it. Last time Darling Husband and I were there it took us 7 hours to make the 2 hour trip. NOPE.
Atlantic City could be a fun alternative, and you could potentially wander into Cape May and stay at a nice B&B if you wanted to do something like that? That way you’re not staying in AC proper if you don’t want to?
I’d talk with the other bridesmaids and run the AC alternative by your bride. I understand her wanting to do a big shindig, but if it’s not in your budgets for cash or vacation time, it’s not, and she should be open to comprimise or pay for it all herself.
Post # 14
@icanhearyousmile: yeah I’m with you on OC… I never go there! If we go to the beach it’s usually in Delaware like in Lewes where the area is nice. Maybe Dewey Beach would be fun… And there are some nice things in Rehoboth close by. I love the Cape May suggestion! I would totally be all over they but she is more of a party girl so I think she would prefer to stay where all the action is. I’ll ask her about AC though. Any of these sound more doable than Vegas anyway!
She likes beer…anyone know of any neat breweries near the beach? I know of dogfishhead but no other ones. Maybe we could do Limo brewery tour or something.
Post # 15
@hollyberry4: I live in NJ… can you make a trip to Atlantic City? I know it’s nowhere near what Vegas is, but maybe it will give her same feeling (and be A LOT less expensive!). There are great bars, shows, beaches, etc. in AC!
Honestly, if you cant afford it…you cant afford it. Would I have loved to go to Vegas for my bachelorette? Of course. Could all my bridesmaids afford it? Nope… so that wasnt even an option. We are doing a fun beach weekend in Ocean City, MD instead.
Post # 16
@hollyberry4: No. Do not suck it up and go someplace none of you can afford. I don’t see why brides tell the Maid/Matron of Honor where they must go; didn’t that used to be the MOH’s decision?!
Anyway, I say you all sit her down and discuss how it cannot happen. And advise her that you will plan something fun that she’ll love.
The bride wanted us all to go to DR, and only 1 out of 5 of us went. Plus she had a horrible time.