Post # 1
Hoping I can vent a little on here and hopefully you all can either talk some sense into me or calm me down!
Let me tell you a little of what is going on. My fiancé and I dated a year before we got engaged back in November. We knew that we were meant to be together so we figured why wait. We have friends that have dated for many years; we were nervous how they would take the news of us getting engaged before they did. Most of them took it wonderfully! They were more than happy for us. One couple, one of closet couple friends actually, not so much. See back in the summer the gentleman in the relationship told me and my fiancé that he planned to propose within a month well 3-4 months went by and nothing happened so my fiancé proposed. This could be why they weren’t so happy for us but pretended to be. Behind our backs they talked a lot of crap. I was hurt by this but wanting to avoid confrontation avoided saying anything.
Fast forward a month and a few days….
Our friends get engaged. We are THRILLED for them! I mean legitimately thrilled. We gave them the happiness and excitement that we wish they would have given us. I asked questions, helped in any way I could offering numbers of vendors that we contacted etc. Being that the couple didn’t want to get married in either one of their churches I told them they could get married in mine. I knew there wasn’t many weddings on the books for this coming year and suggested it being nice. So when the bride to be told me that they had booked a date I was thrilled…. until she told me the date.. a week after ours. Now mind you, there were 48 available weekends to get married at the church and many available weekends at their reception hall. So yes I will admit I was taken aback when they told us it was the week after ours. I have tried to put it out of my head and that it doesn’t bother me but I cannot lie, it does. There has been some weird tension between us lately too. As soon as I got engaged we weren’t as close as we use to be, the bride to be and me. I have openly and honestly answered any questions she has had about our wedding, we had all of our vendors booked within a week of us getting engaged and colors were picked, so I have been open about what our flowers will be and who/what we are doing. When I ask them they avoid the question or stay mum. I don’t know what to do, should I say something? I don’t want to come off being a BRIDEZILLA! Which I am not trying to be and I am not saying that they aren’t allowed to get married a week after me but I am scared that this is going to turn into a full blown competition. They are some of our closest friends and I feel like I need to hide something from them so we don’t have identical weddings. Am I being unreasonable? Is it really a big deal or do I need to take a chill pill?!
Hive can you please help?! Have you ever been put in a position like this?!
Post # 3
I’m sorry that you feel as though it will be a competition. When they stay mum maybe it’s because they aren’t as good at making decisions and honestly just don’t know? This is a special day for them as well, I couldn’t imagine your friend spending her effort trying to copy/take away from your wedding, so try not to worry. If she tries to make it a competition, don’t let it be one. You already have your ideas picked, so you don’t need to worry about competing with her. Also, just be thankful that she didn’t tell you it was the week before your wedding!
Post # 4
I agree with PP. If they want to make it a competition, let them, but don’t sink to their level! Just continue being sweet, excited and supportive. Kill with kindness!
If it gets worse, you can always ask your friend “Hey is everything ok with us? I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’ve been feeling like something is wrong or that you’re upset with me, and I’d hate if that were true. I’m so excited we’re getting to plan our weddings together, but I still want us to remain as close as we were before we got engaged! You can always talk to me and tell me what’s going on!”
I get your irritation re: wedding a week after. Two of our bff couples did that, and the bride and groom from the first wedding had to miss the second wedding because their planes got delayed on their honeymoon! Did I mention they were also in the wedding?! I get that it’s their day too, but I tend to be on the more accommodating side, myself!
Post # 5
The FIRST thing I thought was WHEW at least they didn’t do it before your wedding! I totally understand the tension thing. I have a friend get engaged around the time I did. I felt really bad cause I was telling our friends all our plans and she kinda clamed up about hers. She too could’nt answer a lot of questions and was kinda elusive. I ttok it as i made her feel bad like I have it all together ( and it sounds like you do to) and she didnt have really anything done. She is getting married a week after me too. I was really excited and since everyone was asking us questions I was dishing out information. Planning a wedding isn’t easy for everyone. For a lucky few does everything seem to fall into place quickly. She might think there is something “wrong” with them because they havn’t had it so easy.
The same thing happened with my cousin too. She got engaged right after me and didnt even tell me. Her and her Fiance had been dating 3 or 4 years and me and my Fiance 9 months. After chatting with them at a family party ( I noticed she had a ring, she didnt even announce it) she texted me “Why did you have to talk to us about your wedding?! you stressed him out and he doesnt want a church wedding anymore or a reception!” I was like thats on you cuz cause all I did wass answer his questions bout our venue and vendors.
my point, dont take offense to it. You dont need any added stress! I don’t think you are over reacting or anything at all though. we all get a little sensitive about this subject …well a lot of us do ( ME!)
Post # 6
Thanks gals!! You all made me feel a lot better!!!!
@LoveMySailor1018: Thats true!! Atleast it’s not the week before!
@LaviniaRose2013: We actually talked last night and cleared the air so I think everything will work out just fine!
@Angelz_love: I’m sorry about your cousin! Yes I agree I don’t need the added stress I think it will all work out just will be a hectic two weeks!