Post # 1
I am turning to my fellow bees for your opinion on how to handle this situation.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is a college student with a job, and fully ready to plan and finance my bachelorette party. She however turned to me and asked me when my mom is planning to throw me my bridal shower, so that there is enough time for the guests and its not over kill.
The only problem is that I was under the impression that it was for the bridesmaids to handle (there are 6 of them). My mom just threw us a wonderful engagement party – and closer to the wedding she will be financing the bridesmaid gowns for my two sisters and tuxes for my two brothers (yes I am from a large family).
The one part of my wedding I always did hope for was a surprise bridal shower, but now it is looking like I might have to plan my own. How should I handle this? I dont want to seem like a greedy bride or a bridezilla, but I dont think I can ask anyone to handle the bridal shower. :o(
Post # 3
I am also curious…no one is throwing me a shower so not sure what to do. I don’t even want gifts, just getting together with people.
Post # 4
I just went through something similar with my bridesmaids. They are lacking in funds and time to plan. So I asked them if they could host the shower (I would have asked my mom if they said no), I would help plan, we all could make two dishes to pass and schedule it between lunch and dinner so cut a full-meal cost.
So it will cost about $50 each ($250 total or so), will be simple and in a park lodge. I wanted something cozy and at home but this will be close enough. Maybe you could do something like this? I think you are only a bride wonce so enjoy as many aspects as you can!!
Post # 5
Well, in my experience and in our families, the bridesmaids throw one and then the Future Mother-In-Law throws the other one for the other side of the famiy. I have often seen them cohosted with the mothers of the bride and also done separately. She probably thinks that because you have a large family she wanted to do a “family shower” also. Baby showers can often be done this way, too. I don’t think she’s necessarily being presumptuous about the shower, though.She probably just doesn’t know any better and thinks your mom would do it.
Why don’t you just telll her your mom isn’t throwing you one? Or do you think yoru mom would be willing to cohost it and pick up, say, the cake? You could just have your mom contact your Maid/Matron of Honor and plan it together. My mom was pretty excited about throwing the shower and helping out. Even if it was just to supply cake or the punch or something?
Remind her it doesn’t have to be fancy. How many people would you think? You could do desserts and punch or tea and open gifts at your house. We had chicken salad, chips, and junk food at mine. It was definitely not high class or anything! They kicked me out of my own house for an hour and when i came back we all sat around my living room and had fun. Pretty casual and inexpensive (my Maid/Matron of Honor was still in college, no job).
Wrangle those 6 bridesmaids together; surely they can pull together something low key for you.
Post # 6
@ ejs4y8 – Thanks for the tips! I actually have a really large family, but the Future Mother-In-Law of the groom lives in Puerto Rico (and cant come up until the wedding) and his mother in law couldn’t really give two sh*ts about anything pertaining to me. (We are actually worried about his side stiffing us with the bridesmaid dress and ring bearers tux, and his dad’s tux at the last minute – but that is a whole other topic)
I might talk to my Mom and moh and see what we can work up. My dad is remarried and I am sure that his wife would plan it … but that might end up with tension btwn her and my mom so close to the wedding.
Post # 7
I would ask mom to do the footwork, but ask the BMs to putluck or bring wine. It won’t be the awesomest, most creative shower in the world, but you’ll be happy with the experience, and it is totally not overbearing to ask for a potluck.
Post # 8
im curious about this too.. all my Bridesmaid or Best Man are out of town and they are already flying in twice to throw my bachelorette party & then wedding. So i can’t expect them to throw me a bridal/couples shower.