Post # 1
Whether it was oversight or not, my friend didn’t buy any wedding gifts for his groomsmen. I served as his Best [Wo]Man, and when I realized a month later that he didn’t buy us gifts or write us thank-you cards I delicately let him know that he had forgotten. He took it well and I offered to help in any way I could…that was over two weeks ago. He hasn’t mentioned it since and thank-yous have not been sent out. I’m really disappointed in my best friend.
I’m not expecting a gift from him, just a card at least. All of us had to travel to his destination wedding and pay for all of our own clothing, travel, accomodations, and the destination bachelor party. To top it all off, I was in a local wedding last week and they budget-minded bride and groom still managed to give us wonderful notes and keepsakes. I don’t want to be bitter about this, but it’s getting hard to think about my best friend without feeling like I got walked all over.
I needed to vent and would like to know how others have handled/would handle this situation.
Post # 3
While it is totally rude and not in keeping with proper etiquette for him not to do that, I’m not so sure I would mention it again if I were you. IMO, it’s always awkward to bring up other people’s breaches of etiquette. Like, if a wedding guest didn’t bring a gift, that’s an etiquette gaff, but mentioning it to them is even more awkward and kind of inappropriate. I would just take the high road on this one if I were you. Water under the bridge.
Post # 4
I don’t think I would’ve said anything…a thank you would have been nice, but if you have to ask for a thank you note, doesn’t that take away from it if he decides to give you one?
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@AdriannaJean: +1 Mentioning his non-gifting/thank-you note etiquette breach is a violation of etiquette itself.
Post # 6
I think of it this way…. Your friend definitely should have bought you a gift. No question about it. Even a small token probably would have meant a great deal to you! However, he didn’t. Asking him to get you a gift now isn’t going to change that fact and chances are if he gave you a gift now, you would feel like it was only because you asked. Not exactly fulfilling anyway. I would just try to move on, honestly. At this point if he gets you something it’s just because he “has to” not out of his true appreciation, so that kind of defeats the purpose anyway, doesn’t it? Unfortunately there’s not a ton you can do, but I totally get why you are a bit frustrated.
Post # 7
Ah, I didn’t realize I was breaching etiquette :[ I was actually more worried about the fact that he hadn’t thanked the groomsmen. He sent me a very nice text the next day [oh 2012…] but he never really thanked the other guys. I thought I should give him a gentle reminder at best man, but you’re all right. Water under the bridge :]
Thank you for the replies!
Post # 8
You pointed it out to him and now let it go. It isn’t your job to help him gets gifts and even if you think it rude it is possible that it wasn’t an oversight and he perhaps has no intentions on getting you guys gifts for whatever reason.
Again the token and wedding centric gifts I recieved eventually all end up in the trash. So I prefer a thank rather then a gift. But everyone is different.