(Closed) bridemaid and i don’t agree

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: stay or go
    let her get the dress in red in black like she wanted : (7 votes)
    23 %
    should choose a dress that the bride would like her to wear : (23 votes)
    77 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think your daughter is being selfish. There will come a day when she is able to call the shots and decide what she wants to be worn on her own day. The trouble is she is 15 and probably doesn’t understand that yet. At 15, she’s still the child and you are the parent…and regardless of relationship it’s your day. Your daughter may be mad at you now, but looking back in 10 years, I think she would be proud of her mother for standing up for herself. It just may take some time for her to see that.

     

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Why did she think she could pick her own dress in the first place? It sounds like there was some confusion on both ends. If you told her she could, then you may just have to deal with it to keep the peace. And if you didn’t, then you need to calmly tell her that this is your wedding and bridesmaids don’t always (typically) get to pick their own dresses.

    If I were you though, and the dress isn’t bad, then I’d let it go. She’s 15. Maybe she’ll look back on it in 10 years and wonder what she was thinking, but oh well. Better than excess drama and saying she won’t come, etc.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @BarbraD: Ah, 15 is an awkward age. It doesn’t help that your mom encouraged it. What exactly does she want to wear?

    Post # 9
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I actually don’t think that dress is bad at all! I was expecting something terrible, but it looks pretty close to what you want – it’s long, it’ll be red, and it isn’t TOO embellished. Maybe without the sash or with a simpler sash?

    What if you guys agreed she could have that dress if she would wear it again? Like prom or homecoming or whatever so you get more usage out of it and she likes it?

    Post # 10
    Member
    996 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I like that dress and I don’t see anything popping out. Unless I’m missing something?

    Post # 11
    Member
    7693 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    While you are the mom and the bride, and your mom is paying for the dress, I think that dress would be okay.  Perhaps you could compromise, and maybe you will like it better without the sash for your wedding. With her punk phase, it could be worse! lol!!  15 is a tough age.  Eek, I remember my daughter at that age.  It’s best to keep the peace, and then she can wear it again for prom.  In the long run, you will be happy that you don’t have a sullen teenager at your wedding, you will have a nice day, a happy daughter and a better relationship with her as she grows up!  🙂  Best Wishes.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Silly question but who is paying for it? If your daughter is paying for it then I feel she should have her own say so on the dress. However, if you are paying for it then its your final call on it. But try to find a happy medium so everyone is happy in the end.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    You are the bride AND her mom. If I were in your position, I would tell her that she is being very hurtful and that she should respect that it’s your wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    at 15 years old you do what youre told.

     

    Why do kids think they can threaten parents into submission ???

     

    However the purple dress is nice, It must be hard for you to see her growing into an adult, but Im sure she feels like one.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    She’s 15 years old and you are her mother! She’s not going to prom, she’s a bridesmaid and she can suck it up for a day and wear what you want.

    Moms call the shots, not 15 year olds.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    That dress looks very tasteful to me, and I don’t see anything popping out – unless by “popping out” you mean the different-colored fabric and the details on the bottom?

    Bottom line, though, this is your wedding. Perhaps you should have one of the salesladies explain to your daughter how often it is that bridesmaids get to pick their own dresses? Ask her to try on some things more typical to what you want – she may just end up liking one.

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