(Closed) Bridemaid issues (Long story) Please help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh hun I’m sorry (HUGGS) This girl is not being a friend. You were there for her during her time and she hasn’t been there for you. This is your day and you should not have to worry about what people are going to like or dislike. I would have a talk with this friend and just let it all out and let her know you were a good friend to her this is your wedding and things are going to be done the way you want them to if not she can remove herself from the bridal party but still be a guest at your wedding. From the sounds of it she’s selfish and only into things for the me factor. I hope things get better for you planning a wedding is stressful enough and people acting crazy just adds to the stress.

Post # 5
Member
12 posts
Newbee

This Victoria person sounds like a toxic, controlling person. I think you need to bump her out of the wedding party unless you want to risk more and more stress as your date approaches and the possibility of major drama on the big day itself. This girl is trying to make your wedding all about her, when she should be sitting back and asking you what she can do to make this whole process easier and less stressful for you, not “cater to my demands!” Be honest and tell her that she has hurt your feelings; if she expresses genuine remorse and agrees to back off, maybe you can consider leaving her in the Bridal Party. If, however, as I expect she will, she becomes belligerent or only calms down for a short time and then starts freaking out again, I would certainly tell her that she is causing you stress and therefore you feel it would be best if she was not in the Bridal Party. Maybe you can reduce the damage by explaining to her that you are worried that since she seems to have such a “strong personality” and different ideas about how the wedding should go, you are concerned that your friendship will suffer if you leave her in your wedding party. I don’t think she’s going to go easy or accept that she has been in the wrong, so it’s likely that your friendship won’t survive this. That being said, it doesn’t sound to me like it’s a friendship worth saving. Best of luck to you, and so sorry that you are going through this difficult situation.

Post # 6
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Grrr, I cannot stand people like “Victoria.”  Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve been “friends” with her this long.  Clearly she is selfish, controlling and just a mean girl.  I’m not saying I’m perfect (or that my friends/BMs are), but I think keeping people like this in your life only bring you down and more stress and drama.  As PP mentioned, she is not being a good friend. 

I think you need to stop being walked all over. You sound extremely sweet, but enough has to be enough…otherwise I feel like you can’t complain anymore if you keep LETTING this happen.  My advice to you would be to share your requests (i.e purple dress with straps for Bridesmaid or Best Man dress), and if she doesn’t like it, then you can always give her the option to step down from being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If she is upset with that or threatens to make scenes on your wedding day, you can also offer her the option to not attend the wedding at all then.  This is YOUR wedding day; people will not blame you but probably be happy to not have to deal with her.

Good luck my dear!! ((hugs))

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