- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Hello fellow brides and others:
I’m sorry this will be long. A little back story, my one friend let’s call her Victoria, asked me to be in her wedding and I accepted. I wanted her day to go her way so I didn’t say anything, but try to comfort her when things were not going her way. Well after her wedding I got engaged to the most wonderful man, I was so excited. The minute Victoria found out she said I got Matron of honor in the bag. At first I didn’t say anything because I was shocked she’d assume she was. But after my silence, I knew I had other friends I was closer to so I said I would think about it (To be honest I really only wanted her to be a personal attendant (since she has a strong attitude and tends to not get along with certain people), but I didn’t know if it was tradition for her to be in the wedding, and that why she assumed she was. I was a little put off through that one she assumed she was in the wedding without me asking and two she assumed she was Matron of Honor.) Well apparently she took me not really replying and saying I’d think about it as she was. She pissed most of my other bridesmaids off (I have 6 including her) and I was still thinking about who I wanted (since I don’t have any sisters). I finally settled on the person I was thinking about all along my best friend since 6 grade we’ll call her Madison. The reason I was hesitate was because she has a daughter and some health problems, so I was worried she wouldn’t have time. I told Victoria and she was upset but agreed.
Later, I realized Madison needed help planning things, due to her time restraints, so I also made my best friend from college we’ll call her Amber a co- maid of honor. Well Victoria was furious, she texted me saying that if I maid Amber a co- maid of honor she would no long be in the wedding. This hurt me because all my friends are very important to me and when I was in her wedding I more looked at it as being a honor just to share that day with her. I tried calling her no answer. She texted me saying I am really not up for talking about this Amber being Maid of honor. I was originally a Maid/Matron of Honor and took a voluntary demotion. I thought it would make you happy. If you want help with your wedding all you had to do was ask me instead of jumping to someone who’s never been married before. Fair? My ***! It never about fairness to begin with. This hurt me even more because I never asked her to be Matron of Honor, I never even asked her to be in the wedding and she told me I wasn’t being fair. I decided however to let her clear her head for a few days.
That weekend we had plans, and she came over not when I was planning her to but when my fiancé parents were over (the live in another state) but I still wanted to talk to her. She told me she sorry and she might overrated a little. However she then went into how it wasn’t her fault because at my engagement party I, Amber, Madison and Katie (my fiancé cousin) were all mean to her (okay she used a different language) because we didn’t pay enough attention to her. I spent at least a half hour talking to her and so did Amber, and Madison because we all sat down together. But then I did my round because over 50 people were there ( I have a big family), Amber also did since she knows most of my family. Madison went and talked to others in the wedding and other people from college. I felt bad because I couldn’t spend much time with anyone but I thought most people would understand that. To be honest I spent the most time with my cousin who I grew up with because I hadn’t seen him in forever and he lived three hours away. I didn’t get to see my other family more than 20 minutes who drove over 4 hours. So it really hurt me when she said that. She also said if any of us do it again, she’ll be really mean back even if it is on my wedding day. She then told me how bad of friend she thinks Madison is and she was just in it for the title. She doesn’t even know Madison and my friendship. I made her Maid/Matron of Honor for a reason. She was there for me when I really needed someone, I honestly don’t know where I be if it wasn’t for her. Well she got mad at me for defending her, but moved on saying how she wants to wear blue the day of and how she wants a strapless dress. ( I was planning for her to wear purple and I wanted straps, due to it making some of my bridemaids feel more comfortable.) She also mad because I haven’t sent pictures to her of what I am doing for the wedding and she wants me to start to see if she likes them.
I’m starting to feel like it’s not my wedding and this is the reason I only wanted her to be a personal attendant. I don’t know what to do, because my family has some traditions that I am trying to follow that she doesn’t seem to like. I really need advice because I feel like its ruining my friendship with her and my friendship with my other bridesmaids a little due to the fact not many of them like her. A lot of my other bridemaids want her out of the wedding, since she’s causing so much drama and has hurt a lot of people. I feel like this is all very childish and I rather the day of my wedding be a fun day. So please give me advice?