- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Can I Vent for a moment and ask for advice/opinions?
Background: I asked my bridesmaids what their budget would be in terms of the dress. $150 was the general consensus – with the exception of one of my MOH’s (lets call her Jazzy) who said $99 was her budget. After visiting a dress store she realized $99 was not realistic and it really put everyone in a uncomfortable position because we all knew $99 was not going to be enough. A week later, my second Maid/Matron of Honor (lets call her Tasha) asked me what the status of the dresses were and I told her that I was falling behind with the dresses with all the other wedding details I was arranging and getting together. Tasha then contacted the girls through the groupchat to arrange a date for us to look at bridesmaids dresses. Everyone agreed on a date and Jazzy comes in and says “umm.. could we do another date… Friday is not a good day for me” the girls then rearranged for the following Thursday only for Jazzy to say “Lets do it later on Thursday like 6:30 pm. at 4pm im still at work” We realized after calling the location that their store hours ended at 7pm so we couldnt do it. Rather risk trying to reschedule again I told Jazzy we would continue with Thursday @ 4pm and fill her in later.
–SIDEBAR– i was already semi frustrated with her because for the last two Saturdays in a row, she planned to come to my house and see my dress, but about 1 hour before she was set to arrive, I would receive a text that said, “Sorry I have school work to catch up on. Lets reschedule.”
Jazzy then texts me and says she felt like nobody in the groupchat was willing to work with her schedule knowing that she had to work. I wanted to say NEWSFLASH- WE ALL HAVE JOBS AND WILL NEED TO BE FLEXIBLE SOMETIMES DURING THE PLANNING PROCESS but i decided to be a listening ear to let her vent. I told her that if we had more time we would be able to get everyone together but that was not the case. We just needed to find dresses so my Fiance and I could move forward with the wedding planning & picking out the tuxs. I used that time to bring up the past two saturday cancelations and to see if she honestly had time to be the Maid/Matron of Honor since things were getting pretty busy and I would need her to be available more. I gave her to option to stay as Maid/Matron of Honor, be a bridesmaid or just attend the wedding (in a nice way of course). She told me that “Since i was having concerns about her being able to perform her duties now, maybe it would be best for her to be a bridesmaid.” I tried to reassure her and let her know that it was truly up to her, but i would need her to be more available if she continued as Maid/Matron of Honor. She decided that being a bridesmaid was best and gave me this as her explanation, “I’ve never been a Maid/Matron of Honor before and whereas Tasha has. She has more experience and honestly she hasnt called me or anything.”
At that point I was very through with the situation. I felt like she gave up very easily and it was very immature for her to play the “blame game” by saying “Tasha has been a Maid/Matron of Honor before and she hasnt called me”. Why couldnt Jazzy call Tasha? It was truly not that serious.
Present day: Today, I decided on a dress for my bridesmaids. This was the dress I chose because I liked it and I was tired of all the drama associated with the bridesmaid dress. 4/5 of my bridesmaids told me their max budget was up to $200 including shoes,jewerly and the dress. I’m guessing by now, we all know who the fifth person was that was still stuck on $150.
Here is the convo:
Me: This is the dress I choose. It is $179.99 from a local store here in Baltimore. Here are some additional pictures
Tasha: Cool….Afternoon ladies , I hope everyone has had a chance to check out the dress .your input pls
Keisha: I love it,I was just wondering if we r getting it from that store
Jazzy: I like it – I’m just concerned with the low back. Can we schedule a time to try it on?
Me: Afternoon Everyone! @Keisha: – I’m thinking that might be the best decision because i dont want to chance ordering it online from another vendor (although it is $103.10 online) and it doesnt come out right. I am not sure if another location in Baltimore/MD sells the dress but cheaper :/ . @Jazzy: – Unfortunately, this is the only dress they have and i believe it was a size 6 or 8… Keisha: do you remember the size?
Keisha: No I don’t
Me: okay. I just remember it was bigger than my standard size 2
Kelly:Hey ladies… I like the dress and I am ready to move forward
Me: Yay Kelly!!!
Lisha: hello all! the dress is very nice! the price is my only concern.
Me: Hey Lisha! What portion of the price concerns you?
Lisha: my budget is 120 for the dress, considering shoes as well
Jazzy: I agree, especially since we may have to get alterations – but you said something about a group discount. How would that change the price?
Me: Unfortunately, $120 would more than likely not be enough even if we went with a dress I dont particularly like that is $100. That’s the price before alterations, shoes & MD state tax. @Jazzy:- That is the price with the group discount. I would try to negotiate, but I doubt that would do anything less than $150 if they are willing to do that.
Lisha: sorry let me clarify .. $120 for the dress. but not $179 for the dress w/out shoes.
Kelly: do you know if we need to pay for the dress in full when we order or can we just put down a deposit
Tasha: Great everyone likes the dress, price not so much. If we do a fitting ASAP we can get as close to size as possible.
Me: Good question Kelly. I’ll call the store
—- Later After looking for another dress in everyone’s price range
Me: Do you guys like this dress?
Tasha: Very elegant…no straps
Me: yeah, im sure you could get straps added. I found this dress on Ebay. they have 10 available. We would get this dress in the color pictured. It is not available in royal blue
Kelly: For the second dress is the lighter shade of blue one of your wedding colors
Me: its a cross between the royal blue and the pool blue. I emailed the vendor to see if royal blue is available tho
Lisha: that is pretty! hopefully they offer the dress in your color
What do you guys think? Am I being too nice? Should I put my foot down?
Also, in terms of the dress, which dress do you like? My theme is Winter Wonderland. Dress#1 is the dress that was mentioned first and is $179.99. Dress#2 is the dress I found on ebay that was much cheaper.