(Closed) Bridemaids Dresses and MOH Issues (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like a real flake…BUT, have you asked her what is going on in her life?  Sometimes we as brides are so centered around our wedding planning that we lose peripheral vision of what is going on in our attendants lives.  Talk to her and see why she keeps cancelling on you (ESPECIALLY when you changed your plans for her!!).  If she continues to be MIA, I would just ask another Bridesmaid or Best Man to be co-MOH.  If your Maid/Matron of Honor still doesn’t step up, tell her that you’re very happy that she’s going to be part of your day, but that her busy schedule has forced (other BM) to pick up her slack and so you would like to honor (other BM) as Maid/Matron of Honor instead.

Post # 4
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would tell her to deal with it or have her step down. It doesn’t seem like she really wants to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and if you pay for her dress, so you think she will pay you back or are you willing to add the cost of her dress to your budget. I think your sister or your other friend would make a better choice. JMHO

Post # 5
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh man, that’s crazy annoying.  It sounds like she’s obviously not making your wedding a priority so I’d tell her that is the dress she needs to wear, this is the time you’re going and if she doesn’t come then she’ll have to arrange another time to go alone.  I honestly would have a hard time not asking her why she seems to intentionally make herself unavailable.  I would just have to ask, but not in accusatory way, you don’t want to come off combative. 

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

You know, I can forgive a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man flakiness.  But to ask you to change your plans so she could see the dress, and then cancel yet again????

I agree with asking her what’s up.  So many times we get these posts.  Maybe she has money issues, or jealousy issues, or you name it…  But ultimately if she can’t pull it together, you’re going to have to basically tell her, “this is the decision.”  If she’s in she’ll get it done (buy the dress, shoes etc.)  If she doesn’t get it done, she’s not going to be in the wedding.

Good luck.


Post # 7
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Choose the dress and color that your sister & your bride’s maid chose.  You gave your Maid/Matron of Honor lots of chances to get her feedback but she’s always cancelled.  If you keep waiting for her and if she keeps flaking out, you’ll never get anything done.   

Come to think of it….does she really want to be MOH?  It seems like she’s too busy (and flaky) to help you out.  Hope all goes well.

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