(Closed) brides and photographers: regrets, loves, tips from both sides!

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
29 posts

On the vendor side:

Hate:  This doesn’t happen very often but when a bride/groom is super critical of their partner in photos (ex: He takes horrible photos either seriously or in a joking manner)- the person being criticized immediatley tenses up and is over what we’re doing.

Love: Couples who put thought into the location of their photos, outfits, etc.. The photographer is important- but details really separate the men from the boys. Mrs. Starfish wrote a post about her photographer making the wedding look great through photos- she had great well thought out details. 

.. and I love I recently had a groom who during our engagement session broke out into dance in the middle of a college campus. The photos are hilarious and ecompass his personality.

Post # 5
51 posts
Worker bee

As a photographer:

i love my brides, all of them, because they are my type of brides! They are funny, less traditional, with their own unique ideas and touches, they know exactly what they want but also open to ideas and willing to “bring it on”!

I love couples who are open minded and do anything to get great shots, posed or not, couples who  don’t need to be coaxed into playing for the camera and be themselves! Smile


My latest bride’s wedding was all DIY, but that’s not your cheesy DIY, she had very creative ideas and pulled it off beautifully. I especially enjoyed when she warned her family out loud to NOT interfere with her photographer (me) or else! LOL

Bride before that had a Pink dress, loved it! Instead of the cake they had chocolate covered strawberries. How cute is that? Her wedding location was awesome as well, that’s a big plus!

Another bride was getting married without knowing it. Yep, it was surprise marriage. Kudos to the groom for taking a chance. We weren’t sure if she going to say YES! LOL

Hate? It’s a pretty strong word, but there are certain things i don’t like, and that is exactly why i want to meet couples for a personal consultation, or at least talk to them over the phone. It is  best for myself and couples to be upfront about what the expectations are, and figure out if we are a good fit for each other.

One of the things i don’t like, which really has nothing to do with bride or groom directly,  is to chase relatives for the formal family pictures, it doesn’t happen very often because i usually ask my brides to assign someone to help with herding cats, it helps a lot.

Post # 6
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

+1 to ITC about LOVING my brides! I love when brides excude their happiniess for the upcoming marriage instead of being overly stressed. Attitude shows in the photos. I love beautiful weddings and details that make my job so much easier. I love when brides are up for trying something different with their photography, or don’t mind getting a little dirty. Taking the care to remember I’m human and feed me at the reception goes a LONG WAY.

Things I don’t like? I really hate when brides accidentally violate copyright laws by doing some of their own edits to my photos, cropping my watermark, or putting hi-res unmarked images on Facbook. I think that’s my biggest pet peeve. I also don’t like being given shot lists because it eats into my ability to be creative and produce the kinds of photos brides hire me for.

Post # 7
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wish my photographer wasn’t afraid to touch me!!! I mean fix my dress, sweep my hair out of my face when you asked me to walk through a long path in the wind. I wished he reminded me to re-apply make-up after asking us to kiss numerous times. I also wished he was quicker in taking shots and dictated at least a little bit. But all in all I’m happy about my pictures (but secretly cringe a little when I see my hair).

Post # 8
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Vitsippa: TOTALLY agree!! My photographer was wonderful but I wish he would have told me that a huge chunk of my hair had fallen out in the back or that I should reapply some lipstick/blush because the day was taking a toll on me!

I loved that my photographer saw someone’s empty boat and told us to get in it – we had no idea whose boat it was!

I didnt hate anything about my photographer! The only complaints I really have were that we dont have any table pictures and we dont have very many detail shots. But the photos of my husband and I are wonderful and thats what were going to display on our walls anyways!

Post # 9
739 posts
Busy bee

Wow this is a challenge: I’m going to have to agree with both the loves and dislikes {hate is to strong of a word} from ITC & LBP.  I Love LOVE love all my couples but I’ve also got to a point in my business that we pre-screen our clients they way they pre-screen us. If something doesn’t feel right we tell them we don’t think it will be a good match then try and recommend someone who is. 

My LOVES: I love brides who put a lot of thought into their details and trust me when it comes to giving them the best photography. I also love brides who know what they want and understand that I have a unique style and that is why they hire me. I love when brides are realistic about their time line and take in account that EVERYTHING will run 15 later then what they think it will, still giving us enough time to get all the photos they want.

Things I DISLIKE: I’m going to +1 on the copyright. Nothing infuriates me more to walk into a reception and have poorly printed stolen eng. photos everywhere or running on a slide show with my watermarked cropped out. Or fining the non-watermarked wedding images on FB. There is a reason we give “rights” to the photos and it is actually illegal to go against them.

The other is being give a list of 20 different breakdowns for family formals and only 20 min to do ALL the formals including B+G portraits. This doesn’t happen to often because we try and help our couples plan their time lines but every once in a while I will get an ‘updated’ list sent the night before. Another good one is not figuring out when the sun goes down, when planning the timeline. If it’s Oct. and you are having a 5:30 ceremony and you don’t want to do a first look. Chances are you are not going to get those bright and lush outdoor photos they want.

My last would be when I show up and the bride says “Hi Ash this is {uncle/cousin/friend} they are just starting their photog biz and said it was ok to follow you around for the day” No this is not ok with me. I spent years coming up with my “shots” and to have some newbie follow me around shooting them for their portfolio. They also tent to get in the way and I feel like they try and compete with me for the prime shooting spots. I once had an uncle who actually tried to sabotage some of my shots. I found out later he wanted to create the B+G and album and prove he was “better” then me. You are paying your photog to do a great job why make their job that much harder.

Post # 10
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This is a great post!! I love getting different ideas of what to expect or poses that work or don’t work…. 


Thank you all for posting!

Post # 11
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tend to agree with what people have previously posted.  My aunt and uncle did the shots for my wedding as they are establishing their business.  In chatting with them some things that helped: 

1) Be up front about the number of shots and what type of shots you want.  This helped them tremendously in thinking about what shots to take. I also trusted their artistic freedom in coming up with additional shots and could not have been happier!

2) I asked up front about sharing photos and copyrights with both them as well as our invite artist.  Due to this, I have not posted them on facebook but have instead used picasa with extremely stringent download and access settings.  

3) Make sure you create a safe environment for the photog and their equipment.  At a recent wedding, my aunt and uncle did not feel safe due to the roudiness, rudeness, and general atmosphere at this particular wedding.  As a result, they now have a new clause in their contract talking about safety and equipment damage…  


Post # 12
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

1 – I wish most photographers were more detailed oriented (hair in face, mussed train/veil, bridesmaids holding bouquets at different angles).  That drives me up a wall to see in pictures.

2 – I relied on my photographer’s advice about leaving enough time for pictures.  She didn’t suggest enough time and was late on top of it.  We had to rush, it was troublesome “herding the cats” and it really stressed me out before the ceremony.

Post # 14
49 posts


1. As a photographer my biggest complaint is spending time with the couple to put together a wedding day timeline and then on the actual wedding day everyone is 30mintues late or certian family members are not present during family portraits. It sort of makes me question why bother doing this if it isnt going to be followed. I understand that hair and makeup may run a little behind but I still need you to be on time so pictures dont run behind as well, that only adds to the stress of the day. As a photographer though we have to adapt and be flexible with these situations so in the end it doesnt reall get to me but it would be great if everyone was on time and ready when we agreed to…. just saying.

2. Having a wedding party member or a family member/friend with a camera doesnt bother me. What does get on my nerves is when as a photographer I am restricted to the back of the church and these peole are firing off their flash or in the middle of the aisle taking images. How is this possibly helping the professional do their job if we cant get those critical moments of your big day. I dont think the guest have any bad intentions since they are excited for the couple, but it does make it difficult to get the job done when we are working around these type of people the entire day. And no, I do not allow anyone to shoot over my shoulder, even if they are shooting to build their portfolio, they will only get in my way and I will not let my client’s images suffer because they are “using” their big day as a learning opportunity instead of actually enjoying the wedding. Let me do my job and you enjoy the couple as a guest, not a wanna be photographer.

3. Moreso than that minor detail on the wedding day, my biggest frustration is the copyright issue. I cant think of any other industry where clients are allowed to abuse the law other than photography. YOU DO NOT OWN YOUR IMAGES, the image is owned by the photographer at all times unless you are given rights to the copyright. Personal printing rights are just that, you can make prints for personal use. This does not include posting images on facebook without the photographers watermark, or putting them on snapfish to make albums or prints for your family and friends. As one photographer above said, this is illegal and may brides and grooms are very lucky that photographers dont seek out legal action against these actions.


Now, things that I do love…I am very very very thankful that I have the opportunity to come into a couple’s lives and capture one of the biggest and memorable times of their lives together. There really isnt any words to describe how personal of a day this is to the couple and how much of a responsibility as a photographer we have to our couples. That is the reason I do this job, I like being held to high expectations and being able to create beautiful images for them to remember it all!

I also love when I have a couple who isnt afraid to tell me exactly what they want or dont like. I think a lot of couples are afraid to speak honestly with their photographer in fear that they will offen their artistic ability. LOL I cant help to laugh at that though because if I dont know what the client prefers than how can I possibly deliver what they love! Artistic ability only goes so far, knowing what my client wants is pricless, having a couple being able to communicate that to me clearly is definately the cherry on top of it all.

Lastly, the thing I love most about being a wedding photographer is creating real friendships with my couples and families.

Post # 15
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

After many years in the industry, I am finally burned out and just made a career change. I’m sooo excited about leaving wedding photography behind!  My dislikes and reasons for exiting the field:

1) Timeline- if I draft a time line for you that allows the maximum # of creative pictures, please stick with it! Dont force me to spend 40 min on the wedding day taking family formals of 2nd and 3rd cousins and mom’s sorority sisters….so that by the time I’m finished, the sun is down and the couple’s pictures are rushed and it’s pitch black outside…

I normally ask that the ceremony be scheduled an hour and a half before sunset to allow beautiful sunlit pictures of the couple alone. If you decide to schedule the ceremony close to sunset and you dont want to see each other before the ceremony for the ‘first look’, your pictures together will be limited and not what they could be. I warn every couple I meet with that this is a possibility when they choose to schedule the ceremony late and choose not to see each other before the wedding….some listen, some don’t. Don’t complain to me when your pictures together are shot on high ISO in the dark.  I feel terrible when full potential isn’t met at any of my weddings, but the couple has the ability to make the call when it comes to the time line.

2) I am a photographer not a retoucher! Please do not send me a list of +200 pictures that you want intensively edited! To include: removal of exit signs, changing the color of the church carpet, fixing your bobby pins, fixing wilted flowers, fixing his bald spot, removing bandaids from guests in the backgrounds of your images, removing cars, removing the ex-husband who didnt pay his share of his daughter’s wedding, adding makeup….!  UGH…this is my BIGGEST BEEF!  I capture your day the way it IS…bald spot, exit signs, and all. I will whiten your teeth and remove your wrinkles and blemishes, but anything else will be for a fee. I can’t invest 1 hour per image on retouching without charging you, especially when you send me a list of 50- 200 pictures you want changed.

3) No it isn’t cool for your friend to follow me around and shoot my setups over my shoulder, only to later display them on their website as though they were an experienced wedding photographer. Everyone has to start somewhere, but presenting someone else’s work as your own is unethical.  I have no problem with guests with cameras or with aspiring photogs shooting the wedding…just dont shoot the shots I set up of the wedding party, family, and bride and groom. 

4) If you are on a very limited budget and you rent out the local VFW bldg for your wedding, please don’t expect me to work some magic and make it appear to be a high budget wedding.  It is going to look like the VFW bldg in your pictures.  I put a lot of time and effort into getting the best shots possible, no matter the venue. But I can only work with what you give me.

5) Hate that people think wedding photographers make soooo much money for one day’s work…!  We keep 40-50% of the package cost as income. One wedding = 40-60 hours of work.  No healthcare, no benefits, no retirement working 60 hrs/week. Sound like a good gig to you?

Vent over…what i loved about it was meeting new people and building great friendships, not only with the bride and groom, but with their families. I met a lot of amazing people.

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