Post # 1
So here is my situation :/ … I just got ingaged 3 weeks ago and we already have the date for the wedding, it will be next summer 🙂 its going to be a destination wedding in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic (my beautiful country) but I don’t have any super close friend to have as an Maid/Matron of Honor 🙁 And i just feel super sad about it, I mean who’s going to plan my bachelor?? And the bridal shower?? … I have a few girls in mine to be my brides made, including my little sister who’s only 16 1/2 and I was thinking of making her the Maid/Matron of Honor but shes not going to be able to plan a bachelor party and all that :/…. also, do you guys think is rude not to have my fiancé’s sister as a brides made? I don’t like her at aaaall, but I love their mom and I know she’ll feel bad if I dont make her daughter a brides made + I think everyone in his family is expecting me to make her a brides maid which it makes me soooo maaad >:| This is really stressful! HEEELP!!
PS. Excuse me if I miss spell, English is my second lenguage.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
First, congrats on your engagement!
Now onto your issue. I think you would benefit from changing your idea of what it means to be a bridesmaid. The role of the bridesmaid is to stand up with the bride on her wedding day, bear witness to and pledge support for the marriage, and help out the bride on the wedding day. As long as a maid shows up sober, in an agreed-upon outfit, with a smile on her face, she’s done her job. Anything else that a bridesmaid may do is a bonus, not a requirement.
That said, a shower can be thrown by anyone (except the bride). It doesn’t have to be thrown by the bridesmaids at all. So not having an Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean that no one will step up and choose to throw a shower in your honor. Likewise, a bachelorette can be planned by anyone who wants to take on that task. It doesn’t have to be a Maid/Matron of Honor. And if no one plans a bachelorette for you, you can always invite your good friends out for a night anyway. There is nothing stopping a bride from planning a fun night out with her friends!
As to your question about your FI’s sister, you are going to have to ask yourself which option is worse…. having her and being unhappy or not having her and making your Future Mother-In-Law unhappy. Only you know the answer. I would pick the lesser of the two evils. It’s not ideal, but sometimes we have to make hard choices. What does your Fiance think/want?
As a final thought, you can also choose guys to stand up with you. If you have close guy friends (or your brothers???), it’s totally cool to ask them to stand with you and be your bridesmen.