Post # 1
My dearest friend and Maid/Matron of Honor just told me that she will be not able to afford to attend my wedding (her family is really struggling and they live across the country). I completely understand and although I am very sad, I am not mad at all.
Here is where I need your help: We had planned on five bridesmaids and groomsmen each, with his two sisters on my side, and my brother on his. I would like to keep it even.
I would love to ask my closest male friend (which I wish I had done at the beginning anyway) to be a “Brides-man” but wouldn’t it be strange seeing as how my brother is a groomsmen already?
Post # 3
I should also add that my brother and Fiance are not that close. We only have him as a groomsmen because we decided to be traditional.
Post # 4
I would have said that it’s totally not a big deal, it wouldn’t be weird, but then I read your clarification post. Because your brother is not close with your fiance, and was chosen to be on that side due to his gender, I think it might seem strange to add a man on your side. But, if your brother is okay with it, then go for it! I had a bridesman on my side (and my now-husband had a Best Gal), so I’m all for mixing it up. I guess I’d just be worried that your brother might feel slighted.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I strongly considered making my best friend my “man of honor” instead of my sister; but we ended up asking him to officiate instead. But I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Post # 6
diplomatswife: I understand what you mean. My brother is very easy going and I would be shocked if he cared, but I could ask him.
juliette.eliza: Another dear friend of mine (male) is actually officating our ceremony.
Thank you both for your feedback. 🙂
Post # 7
Just went to my friend’s wedding this past weekend. Her brother was a groomsman and she had her best male friend as a bridesman. No one cared.
Post # 9
I personally think it’s worse to ask someone after the fact than it would be to have an uneven bridal party. Would your closest male friend be hurt that he is sort of second best and only picked because someone else dropped out? How does he feel about being on the bride’s side? I think these issues matter more than what your guests think.
You are asking him to make it even, but who would be walk with and be paired up for pictures? You want to ask him to make things even, can I assume it’s so everyone is paired off.
Post # 10
Interesting Perspective Roxy.
We have actually talked before about my regrets in not asking him in the first place. My gut tells me that he would be happy and would not take it personally. But these are good questions that I need to think about.
Post # 11
I think that would be odd. Having a bridesman in general is not odd. It’s becoming more common. But if your own brother is a groomsman and standing up by your Fiance, then your friend should as well.