(Closed) Bride's-man added to party when my brother is already a groomsmen?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask my dear friend to be a brides-man when my brother is a groomsman?
    Yes, no one will care : (14 votes)
    78 %
    That may be strange : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Is there another woman that you could ask to be a bridesmaid? : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Other, see below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would have said that it’s totally not a big deal, it wouldn’t be weird, but then I read your clarification post.  Because your brother is not close with your fiance, and was chosen to be on that side due to his gender, I think it might seem strange to add a man on your side.  But, if your brother is okay with it, then go for it!  I had a bridesman on my side (and my now-husband had a Best Gal), so I’m all for mixing it up.  I guess I’d just be worried that your brother might feel slighted.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    I strongly considered making my best friend my “man of honor” instead of my sister; but we ended up asking him to officiate instead.  But I don’t see anything wrong with it. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Just went to my friend’s wedding this past weekend. Her brother was a groomsman and she had her best male friend as a bridesman. No one cared.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I personally think it’s worse to ask someone after the fact than it would be to have an uneven bridal party. Would your closest male friend be hurt that he is sort of second best and only picked because someone else dropped out? How does he feel about being on the bride’s side? I think these issues matter more than what your guests think.

    You are asking him to make it even, but who would be walk with and be paired up for pictures? You want to ask him to make things even, can I assume it’s so everyone is paired off.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think that would be odd.  Having a bridesman in general is not odd.  It’s becoming more common.  But if your own brother is a groomsman and standing up by your Fiance, then your friend should as well.

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