(Closed) Brides NOT getting married in a church

posted 11 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Are you (did you) get married in a church?

    Yes we did because we wanted to

    Yes we did because our families wanted us to

    No we didn't because we didn't want to

    No we didn't but we had a religious component to the ceremony


  • Post # 46
    1223 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No church for us, either.  We have heard some disapproval from FIs aunts, but other than that no one has mentioned anything.

    Post # 47
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Shae726:  What a beautiful place to get married! 

    We were married outside with no mention of God in our vows.  Neither of us are very religious people.


    Post # 48
    1925 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We are getting married in our church. Not because our families want us to but because our church is everything to us. It has brought us closer together over the last few years and it is more of a home to me than anywhere else. I couldn’t imagine not getting married there, even if it isn’t the prettiest place to have a wedding 🙂

    Post # 49
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We are getting married at a private residence. For me it was a no brainer not to have a religious ceremony. None of our families are religious. And neither are we so why? Obviously we have had no one comment so that is good.

    Post # 50
    2593 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    DH and I didn’t want to get married in the church for a variety of reasons. However, we found a wonderful minister who married us at the country club where the reception was and it was perfect for us 🙂

    Post # 51
    354 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We wanted an outdoor wedding but, with the weather where we love it can change in a heart beat and i was to scared we might get rained out so we opted to get married in the same hall we are having the reception. We didn’t like the idea of getting married ina  church beacuse neither of us belong to one, we were baptized under different religions and you have to go through classes and councelling we felt unnecassary.

    Post # 52
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011


    Your ceremony site is gorgeous! I would love to get married somewhere like that!

    Post # 53
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @tranquility: Ugh, I dread a similar one-sided conversation with my parents, too. I’m sorry you had to go through that as that must have been very uncomfortable. How did you ever get through it? In my case, my parents and I are of a Roman Catholic background, but my Fiance isn’t. My Dad kept asking if it would be a religious ceremony or civil and finally once it was decided between my Fiance and I, I said “religious”…because it will be, but it won’t be Roman Catholic! We will have religious components and truly, it will be the best representation of our union. I am not about to force feed religion to my Fiance as he is on his own spiritual journey and I respect that. It is a very personal thing. We are pleased with our officiant as he walked a similar spiritual path as each of us. I just hope my parents will understand in time.

    Post # 54
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We are not getting married in a church. I was raised Catholic and always thought I would get married in a church but my Fiance is atheist and not comfortable with that. So we compromised and are not getting married in a church. I’m not too upset about it though. Our venue is AMAZING. I was really nervous to tell my Dad we weren’t getting married in a church… I kinda just glazed over it saying our venue was awesome and the ceremony and reception could both take place there! I could tell he was a little confused as to why we wouldn’t be saying our vows in a church but he knows that in the long run, its our wedding and we are going to do what we want. 

    Post # 55
    2294 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We never even considered the church for our wedding and were going to have a JOP do the ceremony until my mom very vocally voiced her disappointment and disapproval this past weekend. She begged me to consider a minister and the only reason I did was because she is paying for most of the wedding. I have nothing against religion and Fiance and I were both raised in religious, Catholic homes. Luckily I met and really  liked the minister alot so I feel he will end up being a good fit after all. I know all the bees will say to not compromise on our big day, but I feel like this is the one thing that really means alot to my mom, so I’m going to compromise on this one thing.

    Post # 56
    28 posts
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We were in the same boat as you.  Both Fiance and I both grew up in the catholic church and our parents still go to church.  We are both spiritual but don’t go to church and since the catholic church has so many rules about getting married, we definitely did not want to go that route.  We knew the rents would dissapprove, and thats why we booked our venue 2 weeks after getting engaged, without their opinion.  I knew if I waited, I would be talked into doing something I didn’t want.  And when they asked about the venue, I just said that I had always dreamed of getting married outside somewhere and the outdoor locations book fast.  Which was true.  They will love you no matter what you decide.  Trust me!

    Never forget…it’s your wedding.  

    Post # 57
    1713 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    My dad keeps asking which pastor from our “home church” plans to officiate our wedding! Ugh “Dad I havent gone to church with you in YEARS!”

    Post # 58
    3928 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    To be honest, we didn’t even consider getting married in a church. In our opinion, God or whoever the higher power a person believes in is everywhere, so to us, getting married in a church is a moot point.

    Post # 59
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    My dad really wanted me to get married in a church.  I am not religous AT ALL.  But I might have done it to make him happy except… my Fiance was raised Jehova’s witness and a lot of his family are still practicing JW’s.  JW’s can’t go into church’s, and that set me up with the perfect reason why there way no way we could do it.  And why there can be no religious tones to our ceremony (he was trying to get me to get a minister to be our officiant).

    I think he’s still a bit disappointed.  At one point he even suggested that FI’s grandparents just don’t attend, but he has to admit that’s an unreasonable request.

    We’re getting married at a historic town hall that has a fair amount of family significance for my dad.  It’s a good compromise and a beautiful venue.

    Post # 60
    46 posts
    • Wedding: January 2012

    We’re having our ceremony at a charming, historic non-denominational chapel close to our reception site.  We’re both regular church attendees, and though we’re not having it at either one of our churches due to the logistics (we wanted the reception and ceremony site close to each other), we wanted a more traditional churchlike setting which would reflect our religious/spiritual values.  An outdoor or alternate indoor location could be just as lovely and meaningful, but I also didn’t want the hassle of an outdoor site with the possibility of inclement weather (heat, rain, wind etc).  Plus, the wedding chapel we wanted already comes decorated with silk flowers, a lovely staircase, a small reception room, an outdoor patio with a fountain, ambient lighting and rose petals that drop from the ceiling when the couple have their first kiss : )

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