Post # 1
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
Any brides who have to travel for more than 80 kms/50 miles to work? I will be in that situation shortly after we get married. I will be moving in with Fiance and he is closer to his work.
The ideal thing would be to sell that house and get one mid-distance, however he’s hell bent on staying where he is. He doesn’t want to be anywhere closer to his family than he has to be. They have made all their childrens’ lives a living nightmare for as long as they can remember and all the kids now grown up have physically moved themselves as farrrrrrrrrrr as possible.
The parents have a habit of showing up to your house non-invited or even without inviting themselves (i.e. calling first and stating they are coming over). And Fiance and I obviously don’t want that especially if we are just newly married. If you know what I mean? *wink wink*
Anyway, the question is anyone traveling a great amount of distance to go to work? How do you manage it? FYI, most of my driving will be highway driving (only about 2-3 kms will be normal roads.)
I love my job and I don’t know if I want to leave it. Not to mention that his area has very new to zero IT jobs. 
Post # 3
Member
15283 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I’ve had a job that was about about a 45 mile commute before, with 5 miles on normal road so the commute time was just under and hour in the morning with some traffic and usually 1 hr 15 minutes to 1.5 hrs in the evening depending on how bad that traffic was. It really wasn’t that bad, and you kind of get used to it. Adjust your schedule a little if you can to avoid traffic if there is any. I’d just drive and sip my coffee until I made it in.
I know people who drive 75 miles one way through some BAD traffic and it takes them about 1.5-2 hrs one way… I can’t even begin to imagine that.
Post # 4
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
My sister’s husband was in the Air Force, and they worked an hour and a half apart. They bought a house in between, so that they both had to drive about an hour. It was rough on him because he had to be there at 5 am, and she missed the college town she had lived (and still worked) in. But they both did it. For years. We grew up in the country and my mother drove 45+ minutes to work everyday and I think she liked having the time alone. In college I moved out of town into a valley and had to drive 45 minutes, and it made me late (I was in college so I wasn’t as concerned back then- so I guess I made myself late) but I actually enjoyed the time to drink coffee and relax on the drive. I can see how it could be rough, but I think it is worth it if you love your job.
Post # 5
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
@pinkshoes: I know people who drive 75 miles one way through some BAD traffic and it takes them about 1.5-2 hrs one way… I can’t even begin to imagine that.
Ouch!! I wonder how many of those drivers are women. We women generally do the cooking too. I think I should be fine when it is not snowing. Hopefully I can just find a job in the area. Gaah!
Post # 6
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
My morning commute is an hour or less on most days. There are the occasional days of accidents, stalled cars or whatever, but it’s really not that bad. I wouldn’t want to do a commute that too much longer than that, but an hour to a little over that really is doable. HTH!
Post # 7
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
Thank you guys! I’ve traveled from his place to work/back before. I have to pay toll on the highway too. Both directions. 
But overall trip is around 1 hour or slightly less. It’s all highway driving so it feels like a lot longer than it is. Maybe I should give myself Starbucks coffee incentives everyday. Might make it more enjoyable, if not shorter!
Post # 8
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I did. And don’t anymore. I moved in with DH when we were dating and it made my ride an hour and 10 minutes. I didn’t mind at first. I got lots of books on CD’s and therefore, “read” all the time. After a year or so it became a great annoyance. I ended up switching jobs in order to be closer about 5 months ago.
Post # 9
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
I live 7.5 miles from the office. It takes me 45 minutes to an hour each way. Gotta love the NYC subway system!
Post # 10
Member
15283 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@Sasha2011: hmmm, that’s a very good point. They are all men that do the drive, and their wifes have a local job. But I also work with 95% men so that definitely sways things. I dont believe their choice to live where they are though was based on the wives job. It was usually factors like proximity to parents, or for the neigborhood, or just where they could afford. With the real estate market, prices around MA and with their families and lives in place already, it just isnt realistic (financially) to pick up and move to be near a job
Post # 11
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
@Sasha2011:
Ohhhh the 407 🙂 We’re anxiously awaiting it stretching a little further east to help FI’s commute.
I did it last year. We lived in the city, and I work 50 mins east of the city and I did it against traffic.
We are now east where I work and Fiance 407’s in, and 401’s home. We are about halfway North/South between both highways which is nice.
We have to plan our meals and I try to take the burden off him to run any weekday/night errands so he’s not in his car any longer than he has to be -he did that for me when it was the other way around.
He’s still home before me even with his city commute (he’s a teacher…done at 2:45!) so will sometimes do meals, but does a lot of coaching so often it’s me home first. We balance who cooks and save major cleaning/house chores for the weekends, and with him having to get up super early (often for coaching before work) I will take the dog for late night walks, get up and clean the car off for him, etc.
Our next move will be more west, we are going to compromise -maybe over time your Fiance will see that it makes the most sense to be more in the middle for both of you? Having kids someday is a big part of having a bit more balance in his distance to work.