Post # 1
*Sorry bees…apologies for the misleading title the 1st go round…I understand some brides choose to do nothing, but for those that did, would love to hear from you!*
My mom really wants to host something for me (not a shower so no gifts) but a girls thingy with my bridal party and close female family members. She wants me to decide on the activity and she’ll handle the rest. She doesn’t want to break the bank, but would like to do something out-of-the box creative, fun, & memorable. Some girls are traveling a ways, so I didn’t want to just do a brunch (part of me feels like they’re overdone, but I get how easy they are). I’m struggling to decide on something that everyone would enjoy so I’m open to hearing what others did. Also, are we expected to host my bridal party for the entire weekend (i.e. pay for all meals Fri-Sun? or is just hosting the activity proper etiquette?) Here’s what I have so far:
Brunch — semi-private room, $20pp
Wine Tasting at nearby venue — would have to figure out transportation (about 45 mins drive), $6 pp for tasting and tour + add-on option of reserving a private area for $75/hour & we could get catered platters, etc. We could still do the platters without reserving the private area.
Spa day — local spa has a package (Choose a 60-minute Massage, or Customized Healthy Skin Facial) $55 pp, feels like we’d need to also provide food?
Cheese & Wine class — our original thought, but more expensive than we anticipated at $82 pp
Post # 2
Nothing at all. My BM’s took me on an incredible bachelorette trip instead.
Post # 3
Nothing. I didn’t see the point of it. Bachelorette & wedding was enough for me.
Post # 4
Your poll and title ask two different things, so I think that’s why you’re getting “nothing” instead of a choice of what guests would like to attend.
I would prefer spa time out of these choices, esp if I had to travel to attend. The winery sounds fun, but having done that a lot, I find I’m done for the rest of the day after because hello, much wine:)
Post # 5
“Hosting” implies she is paying. All of your options have dollar values for the guests.
Post # 6
to answer the original title (what did you do?): just the wedding. If everyone had lived nearby we probably would’ve done a brunch or bar night or something like that, but I saw no need for everyone to travel to come see me for a shower/bachelorette. (It also would’ve been different if everyone were very well-to-do, but all of my friends make just enough to live comfortably.. asking them to fly in and get a hotel night would’ve been asking a lot.)
to answer you: if I’m not paying, all of those sound good. If I am, anything but the class–I’d rather something that either is fully relaxing (spa day.. ahh) or something where I can actually chat with you.
Post # 7
BalletParker : Thanks for your help, really appreciate it…..edited to reflect it! Was about to get really discouraged.
chocochai : Hi! She is hosting. Those prices would be the pp that my mom would pay, NOT the guests.
Sorry bees, edited in hopes some bees will come through with other ideas.
Post # 8
CarolinaJames : How far are your guests travelling? Does it require a whole weekend stay?
Post # 9
amanda1988 : Thanks for your reply! The shop where we ordered the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses all offered shipping to their home, but each of them opted to pick up the dress in person (in the city where the wedding will be). Because they all opted to do this, my mom wanted to host something the same weekend for everyone (plus family members) to attend. Part thank you, part girls fun weekend.
Post # 10
Daisy_Mae : 2 are traveling from the midwest and then 2 are within driving distance (3 hours away) and 1 is local…activity would be on the east coast. The 2 traveling from the midwest both said they wanted to make a Fri-Sun weekend out of it. Neither have been to the city where we’re hosting, so it sounds like they want to make it a mini vacation.
Post # 11
Im not a fan of any of those because
I hate wine (im a whiskey and rum girl)
it depends what and how the spa is, I assume you would do treatments as a group and that would make me uncomfortable as I find a lot of spa things quite private personally (they often require various levels of undress weather its just feet or whole body)
and to quote kelly from misfits ‘what the fuck is brunch’ lol I can honestly say ive never brunched in my life, im not fully sure what it is im guessing like afternoon tea in the morning?
I dont know if you have them where you live but popular options in the UK for this type of thing include chocolate making classes, purfume making classes, jewelry making classes, dance workshops, afternoon tea and river cruises
Post # 12
I think the first thing to make clear is that you are not the guest of honor at a bridal tea or other non-gift giving function such as a luncheon. The guests of honor here are your BMs. It’s an important distinction because you say you don’t want people thinking it’s a shower and coming with gifts. Otherwise, it’s a very nice thing to do. Bridal teas and luncheons are very traditional.
To answer your question, I would enjoy any and all of those activities, although would most appreciate something that did not involve a lot of additional travel or an all day event. As for hosting them all weekend, if you are inviting them to stay with you, then yes, you would pay for all meals etc. If you are inviting them for the one event, then you can neither assume they will attend nor expect them to attend from out of town. If they do decide to make the trip, the rest of the weekend would be on them.
Post # 13
I think the wine tasting sounds fun! I’m not sure why you’re getting a lot of discouraging replies, it sounds like your mom wants to do something and they have to come in to pick up their dresses anyways. I’d say brunch and wine tasting. For transport, sometimes it’s honestly cheaper to get a limo then to pay for a bunch of separate cabs, I’d look into that!
My mom wanted to do something similar, and is just paying for nails and lunch for bridal party and my aunts the day before the wedding. It was too much hassle to get everyone together another day. Enjoy!
Post # 14
btob17 : thanks for your suggestions! the spa would all be a private rooms. unless of course they opt out of that package to which I was thinking of adding a mani/pedi as another option. my girls all do spa treatments on their own so I don’t think they would feel uncomfortable. And I will look into some cooking classes also. Good suggestion considering neither of them (including myself cook). Might be fun to see how all of us “grow” in a 60-min class haha.
weddingmaven : we haven’t even gotten to the invite stage/or wording so no worries about communicating me as the guest of honor.
Ziggy2112 : THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m not sure why there’s a tinge of backlash either. I thought I was just overreacting/being sensitive. It’s strange as I’ve been very clear it’s not a shower and I’m not asking my BMs to fly in (I’ve seen the negativity from threads like that), but trying to stay as positive as possible in hopes other bees will continue to weigh in.
Post # 15
This is a fun question. I’m inclined to say the wine and cheese class or the wine tasting, as they’re relaxed but also give you the opportunity to spend time together. Do you live in an area with pretty hikes (and do you and your friends like hiking)? Brunch and hiking could be fun.