Mom wants to host a bridal "thing", as a guest which would you rather do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: As a guest, would you rather attend a...
    Brunch? : (26 votes)
    29 %
    Wine Tasting & Tour w/platters of food? : (34 votes)
    37 %
    Spa Day? : (24 votes)
    26 %
    Wine & Cheese Class? : (5 votes)
    5 %
    Other: see below : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    220 posts
    Helper bee

    Nothing at all. My BM’s took me on an incredible bachelorette trip instead. 

    Post # 3
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Nothing. I didn’t see the point of it. Bachelorette & wedding was enough for me.

    Post # 4
    11612 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Your poll and title ask two different things, so I think that’s why you’re getting “nothing” instead of a choice of what guests would like to attend. 

    I would prefer spa time out of these choices, esp if I had to travel to attend. The winery sounds fun, but having done that a lot, I find I’m done for the rest of the day after because hello, much wine:) 

    Post # 5
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    “Hosting” implies she is paying. All of your options have dollar values for the guests. 

    Post # 6
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    to answer the original title (what did you do?): just the wedding.  If everyone had lived nearby we probably would’ve done a brunch or bar night or something like that, but I saw no need for everyone to travel to come see me for a shower/bachelorette.  (It also would’ve been different if everyone were very well-to-do, but all of my friends make just enough to live comfortably.. asking them to fly in and get a hotel night would’ve been asking a lot.)

    to answer you: if I’m not paying, all of those sound good.  If I am, anything but the class–I’d rather something that either is fully relaxing (spa day.. ahh) or something where I can actually chat with you.  

    Post # 8
    8873 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    CarolinaJames :  How far are your guests travelling? Does it require a whole weekend stay?

    Post # 11
    2146 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Im not a fan of any of those because

    I hate wine (im a whiskey and rum girl)

    it depends what and how the spa is, I assume you would do treatments as a group and that would make me uncomfortable as I find a lot of spa things quite private personally (they often require various levels of undress weather its just feet or whole body)

    and to quote kelly from misfits ‘what the fuck is brunch’ lol I can honestly say ive never brunched in my life, im not fully sure what it is im guessing like afternoon tea in the morning?


    I dont know if you have them where you live but popular options in the UK for this type of thing include chocolate making classes, purfume making classes, jewelry making classes, dance workshops, afternoon tea and river cruises

    Post # 12
    12236 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I think the first thing to make clear is that you are not the guest of honor at a bridal tea or other non-gift giving function such as a luncheon. The guests of honor here are your BMs. It’s an important distinction because you say you don’t want people thinking it’s a shower and coming with gifts. Otherwise, it’s a very nice thing to do. Bridal teas and luncheons are very traditional.

    To answer your question, I would enjoy any and all of those activities, although would most appreciate something that did not involve a lot of additional travel or an all day event. As for hosting them all weekend, if you are inviting them to stay with you, then yes, you would pay for all meals etc.  If you are inviting them for the one event, then you can neither assume they will attend nor expect them to attend from out of town. If they do decide to make the trip, the rest of the weekend would be on them. 

    Post # 13
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I think the wine tasting sounds fun!  I’m not sure why you’re getting a lot of discouraging replies, it sounds like your mom wants to do something and they have to come in to pick up their dresses anyways.  I’d say brunch and wine tasting. For transport, sometimes it’s honestly cheaper to get a limo then to pay for a bunch of separate cabs, I’d look into that!

    My mom wanted to do something similar, and is just paying for nails and lunch for bridal party and my aunts the day before the wedding.  It was too much hassle to get everyone together another day.  Enjoy!

    Post # 15
    627 posts
    Busy bee

    This is a fun question. I’m inclined to say the wine and cheese class or the wine tasting, as they’re relaxed but also give you the opportunity to spend time together. Do you live in an area with pretty hikes (and do you and your friends like hiking)? Brunch and hiking could be fun.

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