Mom wants to host a bridal "thing", as a guest which would you rather do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: As a guest, would you rather attend a...
    Brunch? : (26 votes)
    29 %
    Wine Tasting & Tour w/platters of food? : (34 votes)
    37 %
    Spa Day? : (24 votes)
    26 %
    Wine & Cheese Class? : (5 votes)
    5 %
    Other: see below : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 17
    6605 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    CarolinaJames :  As a guest I’d probably be a strange bird, but I hate wine so both of those are out.  And I’m not comfortable with spas – massages by strangers is a really icky concept to me.  Getting naked around others (mud baths, etc) is even worse.  So all I’d be willing to participate in is a manicure, probably.  I even found that weird for my own wedding.  That leaves brunch from your choices.  I wouldn’t drive hours for a brunch, and definitely wouldn’t fly, I’d only attend if I was local.  That’s probably true no matter what you pick though.

    Another more out of the box option would be to do an amusement park, show or other similar activity where guests pay their way but your mom still hosts the meal.  Less of a great idea if they’re traveling far already, but if it’s a bunch of locals and the pay policy was very clear, I’d have a thousand times more fun. 

    and no, she does not have to pay for everything all weekend long, just the activity they are actually invited to.

    ETA: OMG whitewater rafting course sounds amazing.  Sorry they wouldn’t be into it.

    Post # 18
    1461 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I like the idea of the wine tasting since it would allow you all to hang out together and is less expensive than the cheese class. The spa day would separate you all for a length of time so that doesn’t sound as fun for a party. It’s really nice that your mom wants to host an event for your BMs. Obvi if they don’t want to come into town for it, they aren’t required to, so I don’t know why some people are getting so snarky about it. It sounds like a fun party!

    Post # 19
    540 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    What about one of those paint and wine events? I’ve also seen soap making classes and perfume making classes. Not sure if that’s in your area, but you could check!!

    Post # 20
    1998 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Brunch would be a no for me. 

    and as a proclaimed “tom-boy” i would hate to do a full day spa day. but i love wine and cheese. However, if i was one of the girls having to hop on a plane for this, i dont know if id be too thrilled having to spend extra money to do something i can do at home. 

    it depends on what your bridesmaids are into, id ask them. 

    The wine tour and tasting sounds like a more fun idea, and something id be more willing to travel for then any of the other options given. 

    Post # 22
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    CarolinaJames :  

    This sounds like a lot of fun! I also don’t know why you got so many discouraging remarks… just sounds like your mom wants to do something fun for you and your girls!

    I’d personally pick the wine tour (which is how I answered the survey) since you’d get to spend the most time with your friends, would be more of an all-day activity than brunch since your guests are travelling, not as expensive as the class, and I love wine 🙂 A spa day would be amazing but unless you’re doing treatments together (like mani-pedis, as you said) you’d be in private rooms for the treatments and not hanging out together! If you did that, you could also do post-treatments food of some sort to lengthen the activity and spend more time as a group. 

    I’m sure whichever you choose will be amazing!

    Post # 23
    99 posts
    Worker bee

    That’s so nice of your mom to host your BMs for an activity! I would personally pick the wine tasting, and I know my girls would be into it — but we’re all wine drinkers. It also gives you a chance to chat and spend quality time together. Enjoy whatever you decide to do. 

    Post # 24
    1158 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Do all of your bridesmaids like wine? I think the wine tasting would be the best option, it’s relaxed and gives you all a chance to talk and catch up. 

    Also like the idea about the paint night/wine and paint session -we have a lot of places around me that do them, I bet it wouldn’t be too hard to find one of those locally. It has structure because it’s a class, but you sit with your group, talk, drink and some have food too!

    Post # 25
    3029 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    I don’t know if it’s bridal enough for your audience but Dad hosted a pizza, beer, and karaoke rehearsal dinner, haha! Also my favorite aunt and uncle hosted a BBQ instead of Sunday Brunch. 

    Of your choices, I vote for Spa Day, but I’m really not that into wine. 

    Post # 26
    127 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m the odd duck out, as I hate wine, and have never been to a spa or wanted too before. I love brunch though! Bring on the orange juice, sizzling skillet, and vegan stuffed french toast! 🙂

    If you think they would like it though, I think a wine tasting tour thing and a mini spa day would be something that would be a good choice. 

    You could always just send them a brief text listing the options, and asking which they’d be interested. Or ask if they’d be interested in a spa day and wine tasting, mentioning how your mom is hosting it, so it’s all paid for (so they don’t worry about the cost).

    Some other ideas for fun group activities (at least to me and my friends) going to a museum, going to a matinee movie with those awesome reclining chairs, cooking class, pottery class, one of those “escape room” things, mini golf, and a cake decorating class. 


    Post # 27
    411 posts
    Helper bee

    All sound great, but I would probably vote for the wine tasting, the spa treatments separate you, so while awesome, you aren’t really spending time together and the class seems pretty pricey unless it is the most awesome. Either go for brunch before or provide some food there just to balance out the booze ;). 

    Wine tours I’ve done before (Niagara) usually give you a flight of tasters, so maybe 3 small samples, but you get boozy because you do maybe 4 wineries in a day. The (amaze!!) $6 price indicates to me that it probably only includes one or two glasses or even smaller samples so you may want to be prepared to buy a few additional bottles, but I think it could be a great time.

    As for hosting, my thoughts would be that they are having a mimi-vaycay for themselves, so you would not be expected to cover their expenses outside of this event.

    Sounds fun!

    Post # 28
    1665 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Not having a bachelorette but my mom wanted to host a ‘shower’ for me too.

    It’s this Saturday actually and there will only be 10 of us 🙂 I can’t wait.

    She’s made it a dresses, hats and gloves affair. And is setting up her whole garden with floral picnic blankets and vintage tea cups and paper lanterns in the trees etc. Gonna be SO cute. 🙂

    She’s doing a late afternoon garden tea party with high tea etc just at their house. And also some champagne. Really inexpensive and we’re baking etc for it the night before/morning of. FI’s granny and mom are also making stuff for it.

    We’re serving mini cupcakes, mini sandwiches, macaroons, chocolate mousse, mini donuts + champagne, iced tea and normal tea etc.

    I think it’s gonna be lovely 

    Post # 29
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 1983

    A brunch or luncheon–something not absolutely based in alcohol (wine tasting, wine and cheese). There are other non-drinkers in the world.

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