Post # 1
To all the other bees who suffer anxiety, how were you able to enjoy your wedding the day of? and the months leading up? I’m unable to even enjoy the lead up because all I do is obsess and worry constantly about all the ways things could go wrong, the drama my difficult family might cause, the drama his difficult family might cause. Any special moments that could be ruined in any way. I’m afraid I’ll do this on the actual wedding day also! How did y’all handle this? I am in therapy but I just am so stressed and overwhelmed that it’s not helping much. Any advice from anyone who’s been through this??
Post # 2
If I’m being honest? I was advised by my med prescriber to take an extended release Xanax the day of. I listened to her advice and it was the best thing I did for myself that day.
I say this as someone who has ten years of therapy under her belt, off and on, that sometimes you still need a little help to get through. I have GAD so I deal with anxiety on a regular basis over everything.
Are you taking medication? Therapy is essential as well, I was just wondering if you were on anxiety meds too. I took the medicine because I knew how it would affect me. I wouldn’t take something I have never taken before on the wedding day.
Without medication, focus on relaxation. Weddings are stressful on everyone. When you already have anxiety, the stress is amplified and often to unmanageable levels.
While I wasn’t outwardly anxious and having panic attacks, they had to take my dress in one size because my appetite had been affected. My doctor said that even good stress takes a toll on your body.
A few weeks out, it got really bad. So I canceled all unnecessary activities and focused on relaxation. I did breathing exercises each night and did activities that were calming for me.
Post # 3
Like the bee above me, I took a benzo 😉 (a prescribed one)
Post # 4
I can be stubborn about taking them but they help you cope in many situations
Post # 5
campingbee54 : I also took a small amount of xanax day of, I hate being the center of attention and get really bad anxiety speaking in front of a group, even people I know very well. So that helped with day of.
I was stressing out A LOT in the weeks leading up to my wedding, like my stomach got super messed up because I was so stressed out. The only thing that helped me was talking through it with my (now) husband and my girlfriends, telling them what my fears were and what I was worried about and getting their reassurance helped me out a lot. I’m sure it wasn’t their favorite past time, but hey what are friends for.
Post # 6
Fellow bride with anxiety here. Like some of the PP I too have been in therapy for years and years. The past 12 months have been stressful for me even before wedding planning because I have had some major work stress, our wedding destination got hit with a hurricane the day before my fiance proposed, and my aunt (who is a huge part of my life and the most excited for my wedding among my whole family) unexpectedly passed away. Which is all to say my anxiety has been worse lately for reasons even bigger than the wedding.
For me what’s helped is:
- Prioritizing my mental health and making sure I do all the things that give me a better baseline – getting enough sleep, taking my meds, working out, making healthy meals, allowing alone time, and doing other acts of self-care (massage, spa vaca on my own, yoga, meditation, etc).
- Reminding myself that this feeling is only temporary
- Delegating! My fiance has taken over a lot of the tasks that give me the most anxiety. I think sometimes there is this expectation that the bride can and wants to do it all, but I’ve been a lot happier since I’ve taken things off my plate
I’m not going to pretend that this isn’t stressing me out or that I’m not looking forward to being done with wedding planning, but I’ve been working on managing it as best as I can.
Post # 8
Valium. My psychiatrist figured if there is ever a time stressful enough to justify it, weddings are definitely up there. I took in in the lead up, the night before so I could sleep, and the day of my wedding.
Post # 9
Plan for every thing you have control over and that’s all you can do.
strangely I was told I as the most relaxed anyone had seen me on my wedding day. I don’t know how, but I got nearly six hours sleep the night before. So many brides don’t sleep!
Post # 10
I was also on a bezo.
however, knowing how anxious I can be and how obssesed I can get over the little things; I hire a wedding planner from day one. Someone I trusted.
I also choose a venue that I loved, regardless of how it was decored (so I wouldn’t go crazy thinking if everything was going to turn out fine).
I tried to plan everything I could, we made a really detailed list for every vendor, and so on…
The day before my wedding my dress was not resdy yet (last minute alterations), I live in a tropical country amd in the middle of a summer were ir never rains we had a couple of showers (party was on a rooftop) and I was going into panick mode over some nonsense when I remember WHAT and WHY I was doing this. No matter what happened, no matter if things didn’t go as my very type A self wanted; at the end of the day I would be married to the man I Love. So I went to sleep with that on my mind and on my wedding day I was thw happiest ever.
Not everything went as planned, now I know there was a lot of caos before it (but at the moment I was in my happy bubble) and after it I really didn’t care. I can’t not tell you how much I enjoyed my wedding because there are no words for it. I danced the night away, I was happy to share my happiness with the people that we love and that loves us. And all the little details didn’t matter.
My wedding planner said I was the perfect bride (something she didn’t though was possible after my meltdown during rehearsal), my friends were surprised of how chill I was (I am not a chill person), and let me tell you, when you are mindful, you stop hearing the noise and focus on the important things, it is amazing. I am glad I could do that on that day because is not always that easy (actually it is a struggle most of the time)
Post # 11
I only invited close family and a couple friends, I chose a venue that would do everything for me (decorations, music, food, cake, ceremony… everything) and all I had to do was basically pick out colors, flavors, stuff like that. Most importantly I had a great day-of-coordinator. This guy really made things so much easier for me. He got my family to do what they needed to do, made sure everyone was seated where they were supposed to be, made sure the music played at the right time and even distracted me with jokes when I started panicking right before walking down the aisle. I would recommend a day-of-coordinator to any bride, but especially one who deals with anxiety. Be sure to let them know ahead of time too that you have anxiety, so they can prepare accordingly.
Post # 12
Thank you all so much for the advice! Question to those who took medication, can you drink on those medicines?
Post # 13
I don’t. A lot of them you can’t, but I don’t usually drink. Ask your doctor, mine said I would be fine to have some champaige but it’s best to ask your doctor. It depends on the medication and the dosage and such.
Post # 14
Also, don’t take it for the first time on the day of the wedding. You should know how it affects you before taking it on such a big day!
I find that the fast acting pills make me a bit loopy but the extended releases do not. The extended releases also last longer
Post # 15
campingbee54 : I took it earlier before the ceremony and then waited till it had worn off before drinking at the reception.