Post # 16
campingbee54 : I would suggest worrying for things you have control over and try not to worry about things you do not have control over. I know its easy for me to say. May be think like this- what is the worst thing that can happen. I just did notthink about what could /would happen and the day went smoother than I had imagined. Try not to worry, it will go smooth
Post # 17
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
I have bad anxiety and I try to avoid medication. Depending on the level of anxiety, it is sometimes better to take the meds. You know yourself and your body better than any of us, so do what you think is right.
Personally, the planning had been very stressful with anxiety levels at an all time high for me. I made a promise to myself that I would just let everything be on my wedding day. I had planned for 14 months and once the rehearsal started, I would not make a single decision or get upset over anything. It was very hard, but I told myself that through the entire process. The goal of your wedding is to get married and as long as you end up married, all else really doesn’t matter. Put the whole thing into perspective and train your mind to understand that. I was very calm on my wedding day that everyone told me I was the most relaxed bride they’ve seen, which especially for me with high anxiety, was huge! I luckily didn’t need medication (although I did have xanax close by just in case). You do what you think is best for you.
Post # 18
I have pretty severe anxiety, and the weeks (okay months…) leading up to the wedding were awful… couldn’t sleep, daily panic attacks etc. Everyone thought I would be a bridezilla (even me! 😂), and I wasn’t at all because my anxiety was so bad and I had difficulty speaking up for myself (to my in laws etc). Based on all this, I was pretty anxious for the actual day— the what-ifs plagued me. My dad even gifted us with a wedding planner and that added another aspect of anxiety (I was worried she was judging me or that people were irritated because communicating by email is something that is a trigger for me)… but I can’t recommend a wedding planner enough!! Mine was absolutely lovely, and having her communicate with vendors the month before specifically really helped. Having one person to check in with (vs everyone coming to me) was amazing and really reduced my anxiety on the day.
To be honest, I wasn’t anxious on the actual day (nervous when I had to walk down the aisle, yes!)… which was insane for me. I actually spent a lot of time reflecting after because I don’t think I’ve had a day without anxiety in over a decade… I didn’t know what to do! 😂 I wish I could tell you how (or recreate it in my daily life), but I think a few things helped:
– Our wedding was around 75 people- every single person there was family or close friends which helped I think.
– Surrounding myself with my girls (who know I deal with severe anxiety) was great— they buffered anything the wedding planner couldn’t— and even though there were a few things that didn’t go to plan, I was just so happy and in love and surrounded by people I love.
– a good (and understanding and empathetic!) wedding planner: once I explained I had severe anxiety specifically relating to emails she was amazing and communicated in a different way. She would communicate with my husband via email on important things that needed attention that way, but worked with me to make sure I was comfortable.
– after the ceremony, our wedding planner brought me and my husband to a quiet corner of the garden and let us just be together for about 20 minutes (while they were organizing family for pics and making sure cocktail hour was underway). It was really nice to have just time with my best friend after all the attention was on us… I highly recommend it as a moment to decompress before being social again.
– we also had a sweetheart table which I think helped^^
Sending you lots of calm vibes! 💖💕
Post # 19
^^ to clarify, hiring the wedding planner added to anxiety in the beginning… but once communicating to her and getting to know her better, she was invaluable!