(Closed) Bridesmaid & Groomsmen with a new baby

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This is a bit of a tough situtation.  It seems like she’s expecting you to not bring your newborn to the wedding in any capacity.  Whether this means either as a guest, or as a bm with your sister/sitter in attendance.  I think the first thing you have to decide is whether or not you feel comfortable being away from your baby for the afternoon/evening.  If you don’t think you can, then I think you have to decline her invitation.  Explain to her that you won’t be able to come without the baby, and let her decide if she wants to allow you to bring him/her… this decision really isn’t up to you.  If you think you can be away from the baby for the afternoon/evening, then just have your sister/sitter watch the baby.  If you’re breastfeeding, you will have to pump, anyway, so you’ll leave milk for the baby at home, and make sure you have a private space to allow yourself to pump sometime while you’re at the reception (for your own physical comfort, not for the baby, since the baby will be at home).  By the wedding, you may not even still be breastfeeding, or breastfeeding may not have worked for you or the baby.  Regardless of what you do, this is totally an awkward situation for you to be put in, but I’m sure if you explain your concerns, she’ll at least be understanding, if not accomidating.

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

Is it possible to leave your baby home and pump some milk for her? How far is the event to your home? It seems like you could be part of everything all day and still be close enough if you had to go home.  But hopefully you can just leave your baby some milk with your sister so she can babysit.

If its at a hotel, maybe consider getting a room and your sister and baby can hang upstairs?

do you know if other children will be there? If not I would think of alternatives so that your baby and sister doesn’t “follow you around” and you should use the time to enjoy the event.

My FI’s cousin will have a 5 month old when we are married and they simply plan on pumping milk and leaving her home for the event.

Post # 5
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

That is a really tough situtation…

Personally, I think you should regretfully decline, if you are going to be nursing. I breastfed each of my children, and from personal experience, I would be worried about leakage if you aren’t able to feed your baby on schedule. It is an honor that she asked you, but you should go with what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Post # 6
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I think I would start with what would be your best case scenario?  Do you want to even be in it?  You said you felt honored.  (Sure she felt close enough to you to ask you.)  But you also said you were hoping she wouldn’t have asked you.  Is that because you really aren’t into it, or just because of the baby?  If you could get the whole baby thing ironed out, would you be psyched to be a BM?

If you want to be in the wedding, I would approach her with your ideas and see what she says.  Honestly, if she is that adamant on keeping the Bridal Party even, and she is hard up for friends, she might lenient on your requests.  If you’re not that into the idea of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I think you should do yourself a favor and step down. (And really, knowing that you two will have a 4 month old, and still wanting you both in the wedding, she is either begging to give you an accommodation, or is pretty self centered.

As for dealing with the baby for the wedding, do you know how long the ceremony will be?  when the bride expects you to be ther to get ready, etc.?  It might be that you will only need to be away from the baby for a short while (maybe for pics).

Post # 7
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ksarasin: Start pumping. I pumped all the time and stored containers in the freezer for times I would be gone for more than a few hours. By the time she was 5 months old, I had the whole side of the freezer packed with frozen milk. Ask your sister to watch the baby all day. Trust me, you are going to enjoy the time off. Buy nipple pads so you don’t leak through your bra and dress.

If you don’t want to do that then just decline to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 8
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would either pump and have your sister babysit, or decline. If she does not want children/babies at the wedding, she should understand that some people may not be able to attend.

Post # 9
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

why can’t you leave the baby with your sister? it will be 4 months old, which is around the time most moms return to work, so it’s not like you can’t be away from the baby for a few hours. you’ll just have to pump.

Post # 10
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My sister who is one of my MOH’s will have a 9 month old baby by the time of my reception. Although, her husband isn’t in the wedding party and her baby will be older than yours. But they are bringing his parents to the church and then they will be taking the baby hack to their house to babysit. Maybe your parents/sister could do similar? Or you could just leave the reception early if you didn’t want to leave your baby for that long. My sister has some concerns with the loud music and her baby… but I know other people who bring their infants, so not sure if it’s a big deal or not.  Or you could jsut regretfully decline- she HAS to understand the situation it would put you in.

Post # 11
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

One of my sisters BM’s was breastfeeding on her wedding day adn just scheduled the hair appointment around feedings. It was a little hectic, but it worked out. She had her parents watching the little one during the reception and they weren’t invited ot the wedding, they just stayed nearby.

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