(Closed) Bridesmaid Advice?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Give her the option that you were advised to give her in the beginning. She either cooperates with a positive attitude, or she can choose a seat among the other guests. You do not need the kind of stress that she is causing when you are planning a wedding.

FYI, this is why I’ve opted out of a bridal party, beyond my children. I was afraid of the drama, trying to please everyone, and getting everyone organized for the wedding. I’m so glad that I went bridesmaid free, especially after seeing too many horror stories.

Post # 4
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

If she’s already given you an idea of what her expectations are for being a Bridesmaid or Best Man then I think she’s being smart if a bit unreasonable.  Now you know what she expects and wants as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  However, if she cannot do what you want/need her to do then now is a good time to have a conversation with her and let her know that if she thinks you’re being unreasonable that you would prefer that she be a guest and allow you to choose another Bridesmaid or Best Man that will assist you with what you want/need.  Be prepared for this to end the friendship and if this is not a mountain you’re willing to die on (i.e. not willing to lose the friendship) then you have to buck up and submit to her demands.

I nixed the bridal party in my first wedding.  It was nice not have to deal with the drama of BMs but I did feel like I missed out on a bonding experience with a few of my close friends by not having them be BMs.  This time around I asked one friend to be my BM; she let me know that since she has two young children and her husband is getting his CPA she may not be available to do all of the planning expected of a Maid/Matron of Honor.  I appreciated her being honest and I reduced my expectations of her being my Maid/Matron of Honor because I really want her to be in my wedding.

Post # 5
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You need to nip it in the butt before the wedding gets any closer.  She is already this bad of a bridesmaidzilla, can you imagine what it will escalate to by the time your wedding gets here??  You don’t need that kind of stress.  You need to confront her about it.  Write down exactly what you want to say to her and go over it a few times so you feel more comfortable and confident.

Post # 6
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

omg she sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen. Honestly, I’d tell her you aren’t on board with her stipulations, tell her what you expect and give her the option of dropping out now if she doesn’t like it.  Yikes!!! who says/acts like that?!?!?

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