(Closed) Bridesmaid advice

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Well, it sounds like you aren’t the type of bride who wants to go over the top with the wedding (just by your username and the sentiment of this post).  How many BMs are you looking at having?  Do you already know what kind of colors you’re going for in terms of the BMs and decor?  If she were a guest like anyone else, would she make the travel expense to come to your wedding?  I am just thinking that maybe you can choose a neutral color for your BMs and maybe they will already have a suitable dress to wear in the wedding (and shoes/accessories) so they won’t have to spend a lot to be in the wedding.  You said she is already more than willing to help you and do projects (which means, to me, that she is also willing to shell out a bit of money, if necessary).  I think if you ask her, she will tell you if she has concerns with the costs of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I’m just throwing some thoughts out there.  I’m sure everything will work out though!

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think ask her to be a bridesmaid – finances shouldn’t (in an ideal world) limit whether a friend can be honoured on your special day. But maybe consider having mismatched bridesmaid dresses, and just ask them to wear any style of dress in a particular colour – that way, she might be able to wear something she already owns, or pick up something cheap somewhere else. Personally, I don’t think it’s worth picking out a brand new dress that she might never wear again if both of you are on a budget. If your other bridesmaids aren’t in matching dresses, no one will mind at all.

As for her flying in, I guess that how she gets to the wedding is really up to her – if she can’t afford to fly in at all, she can’t even attend as a guest, let alone a bridesmaid, so I think ask her to be a bridesmaid (letting her know you understand things are tough, so she can back out at any time), and see how things go.

Post # 5
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t regret not having a very important person in your life not be in your wedding. Like you said, things may change in the next year for her. But remember that you might need to explain things to other bridesmaids and let them know she may not be throwing in as much for bridal shower/bachelorette party due to circumstances.

As for the dresses, I am doing different bridesmaids dresses for each bridesmaid..maybe that could be an option for you? You could stay with a certain color from a Brand and tell them to chose from that. That way you can use the websites such as Weddingbee Classifieds or recycledbride.com to find a dress that is the same color and size you are looking for for a much cheaper price than retail. Just an idea…don’t want you to regret not having her with you on your day!

Post # 6
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have a few options:
You can ask her to be a bridesmaid but let her know you don’t need a response for awhile while she mulls the idea over since you know that being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is a large time and financial commitment.
OR
You can wait awhile before you ask her. Just know that once you ask, its hard to “un-ask.”

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