(Closed) Bridesmaid Advice

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
42 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think your friend is having a hard time with her break-up particularly has it was her first proper relationship. The last thing she wants to do is look at someone else in love and about to get married. 

Its difficult because on one hand she should try and put that aside and just be happy for you, but you just dont know where her head is, and some people can get wrapped up in themselves.She might feel you are only interested in the wedding and not supporting her?

I have a very good friend I have known for years, she can be quite self involved at times and thoughtless and although it annoys me I know she is a good person and cares for me a great deal. So I try to let it go. 

I think you need to look at your friendship and what she means to you. if this is out of character for her I think you should maybe sit down with her and say how much you would like her to be a part of your wedding and does she still want to. If she doesnt then she can be a guest. 

Post # 4
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@85sunfire:  I’m just a little confused…. your wedding date is September.. that is 4 months away. Did she buy a dress? If not, she may not even have enough time to get one. It sounds as if she does not want to be in the wedding but if it were me I would bluntly ask. “xxx said you told her you were not in my wedding, are you stepping down from being my MOH?”

Post # 5
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@JessSeny:  I am a blunt person so I agree with just directly asking her. You dont have enouhh time to play games or wonder if she will be in it.

Post # 6
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If she said she’s not in it, I wouldn’t ask her again.  Doesn’t sound like the kind of relationship right now that you want to have standing up next to you.

Unless she has a dress already, then ask.

Post # 7
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My friend had almost the exact thing happen at her wedding. Turns out the bridesmaid was really jealous because her realtionship had gone sour and she was jealous our friend was getting married and she wasn’t. My friend gave the bridesmaid the otpion to pull out of the bridal party, but the girl put on a smile and came to the shower and wedding. 4 years later they haven’t talked since the wedding. The situation is a bit different because they had only been friends for a couple of years, not their whole life. I really feel for you and not sure what advice to give. I think if you have been friends this long it’s probably not a friendship worth giving up on, and kicking her out of the bridal party would do that. 

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