(Closed) Bridesmaid and Best Man are recent exes…can I gracefully not invite HIS new GF

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Invite the new girlfriend?
    yes : (11 votes)
    52 %
    no : (10 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    have you talked to her about it? your Bridesmaid or Best Man i mean? what does she think? personally since you dont feel any loyalty to the new Girlfriend and you do to your Bridesmaid or Best Man i would ask her her thoughts. she might be ok with it, but then if shes not you knwo that ahead of time. does the groomsman expect to bring his new fling? (are you doing a cutoff of married, engaged longterm rlshps?)

    Post # 4
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If he wasn’t in the bridal party, I would say you could exclude his new girlfriend–but unfortunately, he is (and the best man at that!), so I think it would be rude not to invite her. I understand how upset your friend must be, and you are a very good friend to even be considering this for her sake, but it sounds like this new girlfriend is going to become a long-term fixture in her life, and she’s going to have to deal with her everywhere else–why not your wedding?

    Also, I think maybe there will be plenty to distract your friend from the situation? Her responsibilities as your bridesmaid, a big party with dancing (and drinks?), you (and presumably other friends?) around to have fun with…I think she’ll end up having fun, even with the new girlfriend there 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Can you have your fiance ask him casually if it would be a big deal?

    Post # 6
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee

    I would talk to your bridesmaid and also the bestman to see how much of a big deal it would be to invite or not invite her. I think if you dont invite her without talking to him first it could cause more problems between them as a family in the future. The new girlfriend will probably be resentful and that could make for an unhappy situation for everybody later on.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @MrsLescault2B:  And that is a friendship and best friend you could not be luckier to have 🙂  Quite frankly, you are pretty awesome yourself since you are going out of your way to make everything as comfortable as you can for her on your day.  You are AWESOME!  

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Sounds like both of you did good 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @MrsLescault2B: that is a WONDERFUL friend you have!!!

    Post # 12
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsLescault2B:

    Don’t invite the HOMeRECKER, however let your bridesmaid know ahead of time that it was not your idea and that you cannot control who the other person brings.

    YOur friend will be devasted it has only been 2 months since the break up, she is still in grieving stage.  

    If you have a venue where there is set number of guest than you can surely exclude her without hurting anyones feelings.  Just keep it a secret

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @MrsLescault2B: Your Bridesmaid or Best Man is such a good person!!!  Her daughter is going to grow up in two very loving households.  That is so nice of you to invite her parents to help her even with your tight budget.  You both are very lucky!!!  Great job handeling this situation!!!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i think u should invite her and seat her at a table wit kids.. in the back lol.. n then everyone just pay no attention to her at alll. sometimes its good to be intentionalled ignored abit. i know its not her fault but, sadly she pays the price for getting with a guy like ur best man. boo him

    Post # 15
    Member
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @beatriz: I think you misread/skipped some parts? It’s been seven months since the break-up, and the friend is ok with her being there.

    Post # 16
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Regina Phalange:

    I was reading all the comments and noticed that right now .  I apologize.

    Yeah I noticed that the bride invited her Bridesmaid or Best Man parents that was a nice gesture. 

    I also agree with BElls that the kiddie table is for the girlfriend. I think she is only putting on a show that she loves kids. Rule is : if you love me gotta love my kids too

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