Post # 1
im a bridesmaid for a wonderful friend!
Her moh is her sister and her other 2 sisters are int he bridal party. We have monthly meetings regarding the bachelorette night and bridal party shower.
Well when the Maid/Matron of Honor and another friend get involved they come up with cute ideas. these ideas all cost money. Not once have they mentioned howmuch money we are expected to put in. The mom is paying for the bridal shower party.
So i finally bursted out what is our budget what are we responsible for? Are we all chi;pping into a pool of money or contribute money at the end. The answer was put in money at the end.
Long and behold the total cost is 200 per bridesmaid without the gift (this i think is excessive)?
we are paying for the cake, favors, invites, centerpieces, head piece vail, and the alcohol. (glad we were able to find out 1 month before the party what we are paying for lol)
My point is this… they come up with ideas and split all costs equally, if you want something special for your sister then all 3 of them should split it amongst them. I understand as a bm we pay for dress, shoes, hair , make up, gift, bridal gift, wedding gift, and bachelorette night, but there comes a point where enough of these ideas and spending money.
anyhows the bride found out and made it a point to ensure that any extra ideas are unnecessary and to avoid spending any additional money. Now it seems like the Maid/Matron of Honor is mad cause the friends went back and told her some of the info (purely the bride asked questions) if it matters sooo much to the Maid/Matron of Honor or the other members to make or do a surprise then you as Maid/Matron of Honor can pay for it! why should the Maid/Matron of Honor not contain additional costs if she is pushing for the extras??? also why should she be mad if her sister is interested in knowing how much each Bridesmaid or Best Man is paying
Post # 3
Wow, that is a tough situation! I just want to make sure I’m understanding this correctly…are you paying for the cake for a party, or the actual wedding cake? And her headpiece/veil?
It does seem a little excessive to me. How many girls in the bridal party are siblings/related to the bride? I like your idea–could you pull the Maid/Matron of Honor aside and say that while you want to contribute to all the planning, funds are a little tight. Maybe gently suggest that something could be a present from her sisters? Or, volunteer that if you can’t contribute as much financially, that you’ll run some errands or do some things that involve contributing time.
Good luck with this!
Post # 4
Cake for the bridal party 🙂
Yes the Bride has intercepted and said stop with the spending 🙂 they were going nuts with all these fabulous ideas. my only gripe is this if there are 3 sisters in the wedding party and the Maid/Matron of Honor (who is one sister) want all these nice things then buy it but dont expect others to pay for it 🙂 I dont want to be mean but there are finances that we all have to take into consideration besides someones wedding, bridal shower and bachelorette night
Post # 5
It is completely understandable! I know that people say that if you’re a bridesmaid, you are willing to spend the money, but there is a line! I’m glad the bride intercepted. She sounds like she has a realistic view on things! Being a bridesmaid can be very expensive. I was a bridesmaid for two different friends, and the weddings were a month apart from each other. I was broke, LoL 🙂 Luckily, they were all easy to work with!
Post # 6
200$ per person is a bit excessive, esp if the mom is paying for the bridal party. My BM’s aren’t paying for any of the bachelorette weekend, unless they have some tricks up their sleeves.. but we’re going to Vegas so that would be extremelly excessive if I expected them to. Have you told the Maid/Matron of Honor how you feel? Tell her that its just a bit too expensive for you and you’d rather make it special in ways that aren’t expensive, maybe make her a really heartfelt gift or something
Post # 7
I think that is excessive, they are sisters of the bride and if they want to go the xtra mile for her thats fine but it shouldnt be your responsibility financially.
Post # 8
i agree with the rest of the ladies. They are putting you in a difficult possition just because they want to make this so special for their sister, but like u said they should do it on their own. Feel free to tell her that you have financial issues and that you cant afford that that u want to save some money to get her a nice gift that she will remember. iTS really tuff in this economy to come up with 200 bucks plus a gift. I feel you i was in that situation as well,
Post # 9
Thanks girls 🙂
Well the bride did basically say stop with the ideas and the excessive spending…however, the Maid/Matron of Honor was a bit ticked off sent out a nasty email saying we should do surprises for her and “you guys are going and telling her whats being done.”
If the BRIDE asks whats going on for the bridal shower she has the right to know 🙂
I wrote back to her saying that we all have budgets (gave her an example of where i suggested a group gift, Maid/Matron of Honor turned around and made the group gift cost double the price) the Bride found out about the 200- 250$ per person and was quite upset.
I dont want to step on toes and want this to go seamless and fun, but its funny how certain people have no respect of other peopls financial situation. I dont want to be mean and say hey this is your sister you want it you buy it,,, but if the bachelorette party ends up being such a mess like this then i may have to open my mouth! ahhhh! this has been my 4 bridal party and i have had experience as a Maid/Matron of Honor prior. if the Maid/Matron of Honor wants something special ( i bite the additional cost of a better present and didnt make the BMS pay more)
I was shocked to see how a list of items including invites centerpieces etc were all of the sudden our responsibility ( like i said if bachelorette night turns out to be like this I jsut will be *SICK and not go 🙁
Thanks for your advice ladies i appreciate it and am glad that i myself am not the only 1 who thinks this…