Post # 1
Hello everyone! This is my first post and could really use some advice of a problem I am having. My wedding is July 17, 2010 and have been engaged for 1 1/2 years. I asked my bridal party to be a part of my special day a year ago. Just recently my bridesmaid/junior bridesmaid/groomsmen went to try on their gowns and tuxes and get fitted. All paid except 2, my junior bridesmaid and ring bearer whose mother has now decided that she wants a seamstress to make the bridesmaids dress and purchase a suit rather than pay the $$ to rent. The mother refuses to purchase the gown from the store and insists on me obtaining a swatch of the fabrics and colors. The dress is a long chiffon and satin halter dress which costs $130. As for the ring bearer because he didnt rent the tux my fiance was unable to get his tux rental for free. I’m stuck on what I should do. I’m afraid that if I allow her to go somewhere where the dress can be made the style and color wont be EXACTLY the same or the ring bearers suit will throw off the formal look that i was going for. I dont want to sound like a bridezilla but I have a certain look that I’m trying to go for in my wedding and 1 difference in color and style will throw it all off, Especially in pictures. If anyone can please offer an advice i would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!
Post # 3
Purple…this is gonna sound harsh/bridezilla-ish but to make things more simple:
1) Just pay for fiance’s tux
2) Eliminate the Jr. bride’s maid & ring bearer from the entourage. That way, mom’s demands will no longer be a problem and you’re not left running around looking for swatches and making sure the dress goes w/ the rest of the entourage. (Only do this if Jr. Bride’s Maid will & ring bearer will not be heart broken over this decision.)
Sometimes, it’s just best to keep things simple.
Post # 4
I agree with hazel. If you eliminate the Jr. bridesmaid and the ring bearer, the mom may change her mind about what she wants to do. This is your wedding, so in theis case going the bridezilla route would be appropriate, in my opinion.
Post # 5
A mom here…. go bridezilla
she agreed for them to be in it and now she is not upholding the part of the bargain
So give her an out, say If you can’t afford i understand, but I can’t either…. so let’s just cancel their parts…..
Post # 6
Umm I’m the opposite here. I think the Jr. Bridesmaids don’t have to wear the same dress as the other girls. So I think that you should get her a sample of the fabric but ask that the dress be a style appropriate for a girl her age. I’m sorry but big girl dresses don’t always look right on little girls. And if you want the Ring Bearer in a tux then offer to pay for it in full or go half-way on it with her. Either way if she buys a suit instead of the tux you’ll have to pay full price for you’r FI’s tux. So try to go half on it with her.
I just don’t see the point in getting everyone all worked up over it.
Post # 7
hazel920 & noritake22 & Tampamom
Thank you so much for your advice. I did call their mother and explain my side of this situation and she has yet to let me know of her decision. I love dearly these two children and would LOVE for them to be in my wedding but I feel their mother has had enough time to save money for her dress and his tux, 1 1/2 years is a long time to me.
Thank you for your response. I do understand your viewpoint and appreciate your input. The dress the girls decided on was age appropiate for my junior bridesmaid. I feel the same way about putting young girls is older girl dresses. It looks terrible. As for the money issue I just feel that the amount of time the mother had to bring up any concerns about the prices of tux or dress was fair but instead she waited till the fitting days to decide she didnt want to pay. She only has to pay for dress and tux everything else we are paying for. I just feel its unfair of her to put my fiance and I in this situation.
Post # 8
I would just pay for everything.
Post # 9
Yeah my Junior bridesmaids are going to wear cream like my dress.
Post # 10
Hope it all works out for you, Purple!
Post # 11
i agree with flamingred.
it sucks on your part that they put this all on you now without speaking up about it sooner. but if it saves everyone from heartache – the mom from having to pay for outfits and you not having to compromise for the look you want – then the easiest solution id go with is just offering to pay enitrely or even partially for the dress & tux.
sorry youre in this pickle. we’re all entiled to our bridezilla moments here and there and i hardly think youre one in this situation.