Hahaha, OMG I think I just relived my BM woes. Literally the exact same thing happened to me. I think that some people, when they accept the offer to be a bridesmaid, they actually don’t honestly know what they just got themselves into. I think that any dress, whether its a sun dress, an easter dress, a new years dress, a birthday dress, for whatever occassion, a decent well cut dress runs around 150.00. Thats how much dresses are. So to pick an evening gown for a wedding at the price of 150.00, I think it may be expensive to some girls because they aren’t normally use to buying things at that price range. She also may have a little bit of pent up anger because she knows very well that she’s never going to wear the dress again but thats not something she should take out on you, the ugly truth is, BM’s almost never ever wear their dresses again anyway and she just needs to get past it.
As for the shoes, I don’t have a concrete answer for you. I actually bought my bridesmaid dresses and they were short and really lovely in my opinion and my only stipulation was that they needed to buy their shoes. Well, I’m a shoe lover and have a closet full of shoes, nice shoes. When I look at a shoe, I can tell just by the cut if it’s cheaply made and since these dresses are short, I wanted to be clear that I don’t care how much the shoe cost, I just don’t want them to look cheap. No glitter, etc etc etc. So I actually gave each BM this long list of stipulations like must be at least 3 inches. No platform (because it could possibly look cheap if done wrong), I said must be silver, etc etc and I also said it must be Badgely Mischka. So I actually gave them a brand they must choose from because I knew those shoes are made well and would flatter the foot, because lets face it, some shoes can be 80 dollars and still be cut wrong and not flatter the foot at all and just look terrible you know?
Well even though I had bought the dresses for the BM’s and even though I was gifting them their jewelry, for some reason they all complained about the shoes AND the dress. So you know what I did. I said thats fine. I returned the dresses I bought, I got my money back, and I said I’m going to choose whatever dress I want at whatever price I want and you’re gonna buy it. So I chose a White by Vera Wang one shoulder gown for 180.00 and they all bought it and I said congratulations ladies now you can wear whatever shoe you want as long as its silver because no one will see it.
You shouldn’t be made to feel bad for stipulating that the color of the shoe be silver. My fear with letting the girls choose their own shoe was that the shoe would be tasteless. I know you said the shoes were 40-60.00 which is actually a phenomenal price for shoes so you can’t go any cheaper, it’s not possible. What kind of shoe does she think she’s gonna get for under 60 bucks? They’re gonna kill her feet after 2 hours if they’re poorly made. I don’t think you should have to compromise on this.
I sorta feel bad though because what if she really honestly can’t afford the shoes along with her bills or whatever else she has going on in her life. You know, sometimes it is nice to have everyone in the same dress and just have them in all different shoes; its a little more interesting that way. But I understand if you want them all in the same shoes, its like their dress code. They are your maids after all.
I don’t know, I say, if it were me, just buy the shoe for her and keep it a secret from all of the other bridesmaids. If she can keep the secret, so can you, so the others don’t get jealous. Maybe she’s worried about alterations on the dress or worried about your gift or about your bachelorette party or other things. Things do tend to add up and I’m sure she really wants to be in your bridal party.