(Closed) Bridesmaid backed out of wedding with no explanation

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

SO WEIRD. There’s definitely something going on there. Your call as to whether you want to take the bait in the email, though. It might be best to say simply, “I’m sorry Courtney won’t be able to be involved. I’ll make other plans.” I GUARANTEE if you sit tight, family gossip will get back to you eventually.

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh, and OF COURSE you are right to be pissed about this. They’re your own freaking family — it’s ridiculous that they can’t get back to you for months about something of this magnitude. Vent to us, your Fiance and friends, but you might have the upper hand in the end by simply taking note that that part of the family is not very dependable, and moving on from it.

 

Post # 5
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My sis did this to me but she wasnervous about standing in front of people!

Post # 6
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, she’s only 17 so I wouldn’t get upset about her immiture behavior. She’s young and doesn’t understand the importance of a wedding to a bride.

I would however be slightly upset with you aunt for not telling you sooner. Maybe email your aunt back and just say “Courtney is obviously avoiding me / slightly embarressed to tell me why so can you please explain?” or something along those lines.

If you had no problem finding a replacement then I would dwell on this too much. At least she did it sooner rather than right before the wedding when you wouldn’t have had time to find / fit a replacement.

Post # 7
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d let it go, she’s 17. I invited my 21 yr old cousin to come to my bachelorette and like 2 days before we all flew out she told my Maid/Matron of Honor “Oh, I can’t come”. So yeah, it sucks that she’s a flake but she’s also a teenager. It isn’t that out of the ordinary.

Post # 9
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I agree with PP, she’s 17.  She probably had some kind of hesitation initially, but didn’t know how to say it.  Her mom, by putting on you to ask her, may well actually be trying to get her daughter to be open with you about why she’s backing out.

Just ignore it and move on.  I’m assuming you’ll still invite them to the wedding, so it really shouldn’t make much difference for purposes of planning since you have already found someone else to stand with you.

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