(Closed) Bridesmaid Backing Out – Help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think it make sense to order the dress, if anything the flights tend to go up closer to date.This situation sucks, but if she can’t afford it she can’t. Some friends would feel weird about taking money to attend your wedding, but you can still offer if you can afford it and she may be comfortable in accepting.

Post # 4
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would check on flight rates before you offer to cover that expense.  Are you sure you and your Fiance can afford that extra cost?  From my experience, flight rates tend to rise closer to the date you will be traveling.  Can you also look at her coming in a day or so early so she’s not flying during a peak time (like a Friday or Thursday night)? 

Unfortunately some people just don’t have a lot of disposable cash or can’t take off work extended days to include travel, so I applaud you for not being so upset with her on this issue.  I’m sure it was hard for her to tell you.  However, I also don’t think she should order a dress until you both have determined if she can make it. 

Post # 5
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@golfchik:  I’d cover the costs. In fact we had to do the same thing with a groomsman and are covering everything for him to come.  It was important to my Fiance that he was there – he also didn’t tell us until like 3 months before.

It is possible for flights to go down. I looked about 6-7 months out for our wedding and flights were crazy high, I was telling everyone to book them! They’re like $100-$150 less now!  Good thing everyone (but me) procrastinated so now they get the lower fare!

Post # 6
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Chicago is a popular destination. You might be able to get something cheaper later depending on where she’s flying from. I would cover the cost for her

Post # 7
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d check on flights and what not before pushing her to order her dress because she isn’t going to want to order it if the rest of the expenses are going to set her back. There should be some cheaper options for her. If not, and she does want to back out, the only thing you can do is let her or help her cover if you want her there.

Post # 8
2 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

One of my best friends is also my FI’s cousin and she just told me that she doesn’t know if they’ll be able to afford the gas to travel. (She’s a bridesmaid and her daughters are my flower girls… Bit of a problem.) So I told her I would cover what they are short because it is important to the both of us that she and her family are here. 

I would tell her you would help cover the expenses if it is important to you that she be there. It’s your day and you want to make sure that you’re sharing it with all the people you want to share it with. That’s part of what makes the wedding day perfect. At least it is to me. Good luck!

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